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MOUTHPIECE - August 2, 2016

Good Afternoon,


I'm itching to do something. I'm tired of being inside all day. I need to get out and do something constructive, but what?

I think I'm going to wash my car... or my clothes... or myself... maybe all three, I just don't know. I just don't know.

All I know is I'm going to wash something.

Mouthing Off,
Carl


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[m] q u o t e s . o f . t h e . d a y

"I've known what it is to be hungry, but I always went right to a restaurant."
--Ring Lardner

"Every improvement in communication makes the bore more terrible."
--Frank Moore Colby

We live in an age when unnecessary things are our only necessities."
--Oscar Wilde



[m] What's On the Web?

DRINK-O-METER

Have you ever wondered just how much alcohol you have consumed in your lifetime? Or how much you have spent on those drunken nights? Take this test to find out the state of your kidneys, wallet and quantity of alcohol that has invaded your system over the years.

Visit: DRINK-O-METER


Movies In Frame

The one's pretty simple: One movie - four frames. Enjoy.

Visit: Movies In Frame



[m] b i t s . n . b o b s

*-- You Might Be a Farmer If... --*

* Your dog rides in your truck more than your wife.

* You convince your wife that an overnight, out-of-state trip for equipment parts is a vacation.

* You have ever had to wash off in the backyard with a garden hose before your wife would let you in the house.

* You've never thrown away a 5-gallon bucket.

* You have used baling wire to attach a license plate.

* You have used a chain saw to remodel your house.

* You can remember the fertilizer rate, seed population, herbicide rate and yields on a farm you rented 10 years ago, but cannot recall your wife's birthday.

* You have fibbed to a mechanic about how often you greased a piece of equipment.

* You have used a velvetleaf plant as toilet paper.

* You have driven off the road while examining your neighbor's crops.

***

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