GopherCentral.com Powered By PulseTV.com
MOUTHPIECE - May 31, 2016

Good Afternoon,


I really hate going to the doctor, and I know that I'm not alone here. Sometimes doctors can say things that are so mean and rude that you wish you could immediately get a second opinion.

Take a look at the list of 'Stuff My Doc Says' and witness ten of the worst things a doctor has uttered to his patients.

Plus, I have a list of Bizarre holidays for the month of June. Oh, you are welcome!

Mouthing Off,
Carl


P.S. Did you miss an issue? You can read every issue from the Gophercentral library of newsletters on our exhaustive archives page. Thousands of issues, all of your favorite publications in chronological order. You can read AND comment. Just click GopherArchives



[m] q u o t e s . o f . t h e . d a y


"A kleptomaniac is a person who helps himself because he can't help himself."
--Henry Morgan

"The radical of one century is the conservative of the next. The radical invents the views. When he has worn them out the conservative adopts them."
--Mark Twain

"To see what is in front of one's nose needs a constant struggle."
--George Orwell


[m] b i t s . n . b o b s

*-- Stuff My Doc Says --*

Do you think you have a horrible doctor? Check out some of the worst advice, opinions, & diagnoses ever uttered by a medical professional.

1. "Hey! I don't go to your house and bleed all over your stuff! Clot, dammit!"

2. "Well, at least you have your health... (looking at the patient's chart) WHOOPS! I spoke too soon."

3. "How are stupid dogs and dumb doctors alike? Neither one can heel! Which reminds me, there's nothing we can do for you."

4. "Miss, you'll need to put this medicated cream on your chest. Here, I'll give you a hand with that."

5. "I could give you something for that, but I'm not supposed to have sex with my patients."

6. "Hey, what's the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer? The taste. Okay, you can take that out of your mouth now."

7. "I am so tired of having to see that coroner guy."

8. "I know what will make us feel better... a sponge bath."

9. "Oh, that looks like a sprained ankle to me. I won't know for sure until you get totally naked."

10. "Oh, you're a woman!"



[m] b i t s . n . b o b s

*-- Bizarre June Holidays --*

June 1 is Dare Day
June 2 is National Rocky Road Day
June 3 is Repeat Day
June 4 is Old Maid's Day
June 5 is Festival Of Popular Delusions Day
June 6 is Teacher's Day and National Applesauce Cake Day
June 7 is National Chocolate Ice Cream Day
June 8 is Name Your Poison Day
June 9 is Donald Duck Day
June 10 is National Yo-Yo Day
June 11 is National Hug Holiday and King Kamehameha Day
June 12 is Machine Day
June 13 is National Juggling Day and Kitchen Klutzes Of America Day
June 14 is Pop Goes The Weasel Day
June 15 is Smile Power Day
June 16 is National Hollerin' Contest Day
June 17 is Watergate Day and Eat Your Vegetables Day
June 18 is International Panic Day
June 19 is World Sauntering Day
June 20 is Ice Cream Soda Day
June 21 is Cuckoo Warning Day
June 22 is National Chocolate Eclair Day
June 23 is National Pink Day
June 24 is Museum Comes To Life Day
June 25 is Log Cabin Day
June 26 is National Chocolate Pudding Day
June 27 is National Columnists Day
June 28 is Paul Bunyan Day
June 29 is Camera Day
June 30 is Meteor Day

***

Missed an Issue? Visit the Mouthpiece Archives

Top Viewed Issues