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MOUTHPIECE - May 10, 2016

Good Afternoon,


Hey, beach season is right around the corner and I am completely unprepared. I am so out of shape it's not even funny. Actually, I'm pear shaped. I better do some situps or something so at least when I lay on the beach other beachgoers won't try to push me back into the water.

Enjoy the Top Signs You're Out of Shape. Number 4 hits too close to home for me.

Mouthing Off,
Carl


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[m] q u o t e s . o f . t h e . d a y

"Well done is better than well said."
--Benjamin Franklin

"If winning isn't everything, why do they keep score?"
--Vince Lombardi

"I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they
have no holidays."
--Henny Youngman


[m] What's On the Web?

Candid Monster Photos

From Retrocrush.com: Here's a fun collection of candid and behind the scenes photos from classic horror and monster movies that I totally love. There's something so beautiful and charming looking at pictures of Karloff sipping tea in his full Frankenstein gear, looking at the Planet of the Apes cast reading newspapers, or Ricou Browning hamming it up in that wonderful Creature of the Black Lagoon costume. Click any of the thumbnail pictures below to see the larger version.

Visit: Candid Monster Photos


BingeMedia.Net

"BingeMedia.net is the brainchild of Jim Law and Moreno, the former hosts of The JoBlo Movie Podcast. Wanting to continue their brand of podcasting and not simply throwing them up on one of those podcast host sites, Law and Moreno decided to create a hosting site of their own. Their obsession with television, movies, music, books, comics, and sports will lend itself greatly to filling the front page with their thoughts. You'll find reviews of all kinds of media, some original columns, stuff that makes us laugh and, of course, all of their podcasts, commentaries, sounders, and drunken ramblings. Hope you enjoy the stay. DOES CONTAIN STRONG LANGUAGE, like cursin'!

Visit: BingeMedia.Net


[m] b i t s . n . b o b s

*-- The Top Signs You're Out of Shape --*

1. You've ever torn something just trying to turn off the alarm clock.

2. People at work only refer to you by saying, "Hey fatso!"

3. You've thrown your back out by carrying a bag of groceries.

4. Random strangers come up, poke you in the stomach and expect you to giggle.

5. Your record is 34 Pushups and you could have done more if the Ice Cream Man would have taken plastic.

6. You get the Christmas gift of Jigglin' To The Oldies.

7. You cramp up while watching the New York City Marathon.

8. Watching Rocky 5 is your idea of a workout video.

(From: ahajokes.com)

***

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