Classic Laffaday - July 29, 2011
Greetings Laff Lovers,
I've been playing golf for 10 years. I always wished I would have started when I was a kid because then I'd be better than I am now. My friends used to scrape their quarters together and go to the local course and have a blast. I tried it once with them but left after not being able to even make contact with the ball. I didn't try again until I was 38, but when I did I got hooked. I hadn't been addicted to anything so bad since I learned how to whack-off.
A couple of weeks ago I walked into Satan's office and she told me that a girl in her golf league foursome the previous night shot the lowest round of her life. I said, "Yeah? Well, I shaved my balls last night, so what?"
She threw me a small box that said MagnaSpirit Ion-Charged Bracelet, and said, "She was wearing this. I thought you might try it at your league tonight and let me know what happens."
I said, "What's this, another one of those bullshit balance things?"
She shook her head and said, "I shouldn't even give it to you."
"Come on, do you really blame me for being skeptical?"
"Ok, give it back."
"No, no, I'll try it."
Truth is, folks, that if Bagger Vance came to me and said, "How'd you like to get to the low eighties the next time you play?" I would have said, "I'll suck your dick." So Satan giving me this bracelet seemed like a cheaper way to go.
I swear to you that I immediately started winning. I am not kidding, lying, faking, joking or punking you. I have beat every person I play with, except for the guy who no one ever beats (and I almost beat him!) since I started wearing this thing. I shot my lowest round ever, then a week later I beat that score.
I don't know what it is: energy flow, blood flow, freakin' voodoo I really don't care. I also don't care if I'm considered nuts, gullible or stupid. All I know is that I need and endless supply of these things just in case I lose some or they break. I will never play golf or do any physical activity without wearing this bracelet again. And at $6.00 or 2 for $8.00 it's a no-brainer. Here's a link to the page: Click Here
I don't know if my body is susceptible to this thing or if it's psychosomatic. I just know it works for me and that I am not telling any of the guys I play with about this thing...ever.
I went in the next day and told Satan what happened. She was as excited as me. I almost kissed her but she grabbed my nuts and put a stop to that. I seriously told her I wanted a case of them so that I wouldn't run out if they were lost or broke.
"All large black ones?" she asked.
"No, please mix up the colors so I have a variety. And throw in a small one."
"I want to wrap it around my johnson and see if it enhances his performance in bed."
She was staring at me and not saying anything.
"I am absolutely not joking. Throw in a small one."Performingly,
P.S. Here's that link again. Do yourself a favor and buy a few. I only take it off when I shower. Click Here to Order