Subscibe to DEAL OF THE DAY

Classic Laff-a-Day - March 11, 2010

Greetings Laff Lovers,

The other day my eight year boy son pointed out the car
window and excitedly said, "Look! A homo!"

"What!" I shrieked.

He slowed down a bit and pointed to a stretch Hummer
limousine. "A Hummer that's a limousine, Daddy. We call
that a 'Hummo'."

I burst into the laughter of relief and he was pleased with
himself. "I wish you wouldn't call it that..."

Then just last night we're all waiting outside for a table
at the Olive Garden, when my son points through a crowd of
people and shouts, "Look, another Hummo!"

About 25 people began to give me and my wife the evil eye.



"A new $65 tour called the 'L.A. Gang Tour' is being offered
in Los Angeles that takes tourists through L.A.'s most
dangerous neighborhoods. The gang tour is also known by its
other name, 'A cab ride from the airport.'" -Conan O'Brien

Being married or single is a choice we all have to make.

It's not a great's sort of like when the
the doctor says "Ointment or suppositories?"

Normal Price: $14.99 Deal Price: $5.99 - 2 for $7.98

"I read that stray dogs in Moscow have figured out how to
use the subway. Crazy right? At least in New York, it only
smells like dogs have figured out how to use the subway."
-Jimmy Fallon

"Marriage Definitions"

BACHELOR: A nice guy who has cheated some nice girl out of
her alimony.

BRIDE: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.

COMPROMISE: An amiable arrangement between husband and wife
whereby they agree to let her have her own way.

DIPLOMAT: A man who can convince his wife she would look
fat in a fur coat.

GENTLEMAN: A husband who steadies the stepladder so that
his wife will not fall while she paints the ceiling.

HOUSEWORK: What the wife does that nobody notices until
she doesn't do it.

HUSBAND: A man who gives up privileges he never realized
he had.

JOINT CHECKING ACCOUNT: A handy little device which permits
the wife to beat the husband to the draw.

LOVE: An obsessive delusion that is cured by marriage.

MOTHER-IN-LAW: A woman who destroys her son-in-law's peace
of mind by giving him a piece of hers.

MRS.: A job title involving heavy duties, light earnings,
and no recognition.

SPOUSE: Someone who will stand by you through all the trouble
you wouldn't have had if you'd stayed single in the first

WIFE: A mate who is forever complaining about not having any-
thing to wear at the very same time that she complains about
not having enough room in the closet.

P.S. You can discuss this issue or any other topic in the
new Classic Laffaday forum. Check it out here...


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