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August 9, 2010

DAUGHTER WANTS TO SPEND TIME, NOT MONEY, WITH GAMBLING MOM

DEAR ABBY: My widowed father-in-law is 77 and my mom is 71.
I try to spend time with them so they won't be lonely. The
problem is they now have only one interest -- gambling. They
are only happy if someone will take them to a casino. A
simple dinner or movie is no longer wanted.

I don't mind going once in a while. The closest casino is
90 miles away. But it ends up being an all-day affair, with
me gambling money I would prefer not to let go of that way.
I have brought books and spent time reading in the car or
in restaurants, but that's not quality time, either.

They think that because my husband is successful, I should
have no problem with money. Abby, I am careful how I spend
money. You can't be in a casino for four hours and not lose
a lot of money. Now they're mad at me because I don't want
to take them anymore. Mom even wanted to stretch out the
trip to an overnighter. Help!
-- BETTING I'M RIGHT IN OHIO

DEAR BETTING: You are a caring wife and daughter. But it
appears your mother and father-in-law are less interested in
spending time with you than in spending time in the casino.
If they can afford it, that should be their privilege, but
you are all adults -- and if your concept of a social get-
together involves more than sitting in front of a slot
machine or repeating, "Deal me in!" then you're right to re-
fuse to be used as transportation. Many seniors visit casinos
in groups, using buses to get there and back, and so can your
relatives. Don't feel guilty about it.


DEAR ABBY: My darling wife passed away after 38 years of mar-
riage. After she died, her sister and I began talking on the
phone as a way to get me through a very difficult time. A
year later, I finally asked her to dinner.

We have discovered we have feelings for each other. Do you
think there is anything wrong with this, and are we wrong
for spending time together?
-- CONSOLED IN ALABAMA

DEAR CONSOLED: Not only is there nothing wrong with it, there
is a lot right with it. After being in-laws for nearly four
decades, you have a wealth of shared history. And that can
be the basis of a strong relationship.


DEAR ABBY: On April 6, you printed my letter about having
been sent a photocopy of a high school graduation announce-
ment. No picture was included, nor a card -- just the photo-
copy folded into a cheap envelope. (The "real" ones had been
sent to more "important" people!) You called me to discuss
my letter, and your call made my day.

My mom happened to call me right after I got off the phone,
and when I told her my letter was being printed in your col-
umn, she informed me that she had actually received a photo-
copy of a thank-you card that day, from the same person I
was talking about in my letter. These people continue to
floor me.

Anyway, I hope this is the last "photocopy" story you'll be
getting about them. But who knows? There could still be
photocopies of wedding invitations and birth announcements
in the future.
-- EVEN MORE FLABBERGASTED IN THE SOUTH

DEAR EVEN MORE FLABBERGASTED: Indeed there could. Obviously
the folks you described in your letter aren't Dear Abby
readers. It's lucky you have a sense of humor. With friends
like those you need one.



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