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July 27, 2010
REJECTED SENIOR FINDS IT HARD TO ACCEPT NEIGHBOR'S CONQUEST
DEAR ABBY: I was involved with "Ralph" for two years. We live
in a senior apartment complex, and women have been coming on
to him for years. He is now seeing "Joan," who happens to be
my neighbor. This hurts me deeply.
This is a small complex and it's difficult to face them. I
am desperately trying to hold my words and feelings inside
because it is hard not to call the woman a "slut." I blame
Ralph more. He made the decision to humiliate me, but how
can Joan do this to her own neighbor? How do I handle this
with class?
-- SHATTERED HEART
DEAR SHATTERED HEART: The smart way to handle it "with class"
is to keep your temper in check and do no name-calling. If
Ralph didn't make your relationship official, he was free to
start seeing someone else.
While I agree that this is a painful disappointment, do not
waste one more minute feeling "humiliated." Not all romances
work out -- and a remedy for easing the pain is to become
more active. Do not sit around feeling sorry for yourself
watching Ralph and Joan come and go. Time can ease a broken
heart -- but if it doesn't, consider trading rooms/apartments
with someone on a different floor.
DEAR ABBY: Please settle something for me. As I was getting
into my car, which was parked on the street, my cell phone
rang with an important call. I took the call and wanted to
finish the conversation before I pulled out and started
driving. Meanwhile, someone had pulled up and wanted my
parking spot. He honked his horn at me repeatedly. It was a
diagonal space, and he would not have seen my arm if I had
waved him on.
I know it was frustrating for this person who wanted to park,
but I thought it was more important for me not to drive while
on the phone. My husband thinks I should have pulled out any-
way, or postponed the call. Who do you think is right?
-- CAREFUL IN LA JOLLA, CALIF.
DEAR CAREFUL: You did the right thing by not pulling out. If
the call was important -- as you say it was -- you were right
to deal with the matter immediately. Until you vacated it,
that parking spot was yours.
DEAR ABBY: My 50-year-old husband and his 27-year-old son
from a previous marriage like to call each other profane
names. Neither one seems to have a problem with it, and argue
that they call their buddies these kinds of names.
I am personally offended by profanities and find it dis-
turbing that such language would be used among family mem-
bers, let alone in front of others. Am I the only one who
thinks this is unhealthy behavior?
-- OFFENDED STEPMOM IN WASHINGTON STATE
DEAR OFFENDED: Probably not. However, if neither your husband
nor his son is offended, perhaps you should loosen up and be
less judgmental. More important than what your husband and
stepson call each other is the meaning behind the words. And
more off-putting than the terms of "endearment" they're using
with each other may be your well-intentioned efforts to cen-
sor them.
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