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July 19, 2010
ANGRY BRIDE WANTS TO WASH HER MAID OF HONOR OUT OF HER HAIR
DEAR ABBY: I am being married in October and asked my best
friend of 19 years to be my maid of honor. "Brianna" likes
to dye the bottom of her hair red. I asked her to take the
red out of her hair for the wedding, but she flat-out re-
fused! When I told her that it is MY wedding and I don't
want any red hair because it won't match my color scheme,
her exact words were, "I don't care."
Am I wrong for asking Brianna to remove the dye? How do I
get her to realize this is my wedding and I don't want to be
upstaged! Please help me.
-- SEEING RED IN MARYLAND
DEAR SEEING RED: I'll try. When you picked your best friend
of 19 years to stand up with you at your wedding, you knew
what she looked like. Either you should have picked another
color scheme for the production, or chosen a cast member who
was suitably mousy that she wouldn't dim your spotlight.
Please note that I am using theatrical terms because you
have lost sight of what a wedding really should be. What a
shame.
DEAR ABBY: I am 20, and my life seems to be going nowhere.
I graduated from high school two years ago and have put off
going to college. I am obese and have no willpower to exer-
cise to get healthy. I'm constantly thinking about the past.
In high school I had few friends, none of whom keep in touch
with me.
I recently bumped into a former guy friend at a store. We
were close during my junior year, but he ignored me in my
senior year. At the store, he didn't speak to me, which was
hurtful. It reminded me of the pain I felt back in school.
I always felt so alone.
My dream is to be an actress, go back to school and lose
weight. But I can't actually see myself accomplishing any
of it. I don't know what to do with myself anymore. Can you
offer me some guidance?
-- GOING CRAZY IN PHOENIX
DEAR GOING CRAZY: I'm glad you wrote, because you may suffer
from long-term depression. Please schedule an appointment
with a doctor and tell him or her exactly what you have
described to me. With help, you may be able to stop needing
to comfort yourself with food and find the energy you need
to become more active.
If you want to be an actress, see what acting classes are
available in Phoenix and if there is any regional theater.
Not all actresses have to be skinny.
And one more thing. The former classmate you saw in the
store may not have seen you, which is why he didn't say
hello, or he may not have matured since graduation. This is
not a reflection of what you are worth -- it's a reflection
on him.
DEAR ABBY: It is picnic and barbecue season, and I would
like to inform you of a disturbing trend that seems to be
growing. When guests arrive at gatherings, they tend to
prepare "to go" plates as soon as they arrive, take the
plates to their cars, and then return to eat as if they had
just arrived.
My mother-in-law thinks this practice is just fine. I think
it is tasteless, to say the least. Will you please settle
this disagreement between us?
-- APPALLED IN CHICAGO
DEAR APPALLED: If this is a "trend," this is the first time
I have heard about it. You may feel that taking food from a
party to a hot car and returning to attend the gathering is
"tasteless." I think it's downright dangerous because it
could lead to food poisoning. The time to take leftovers is
at the END of the party.
Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The
Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send
a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money
order for $6 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby -- Anger
Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage
is included in the price.)
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as
Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline
Phillips. Write Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box
69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.