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July 14, 2010
BI-SEXUAL PAST OVERSHADOWS COUPLE'S CLOSE RELATIONSHIP
DEAR ABBY: My girlfriend, "Donna," and I have shared a won-
derful relationship for nearly three years. During her col-
lege days she had a sexual encounter with her best female
friend. (They had been friends since high school.)
Although they graduated from college five years ago, they
continue to see each other. Donna tells me that nothing
sexual goes on between them. Personally, I don't trust her
friend. Please help me get over this.
-- TONY IN WHITTIER
DEAR TONY: Forget about not trusting Donna's longtime friend.
Do you trust Donna? You have been together nearly three
years and obviously, you talk about everything. Ask her if,
after experimenting with her friend, she still has hankerings
in that direction. If the answer is no, believe her.
DEAR ABBY: I have been in a relationship with a lady for the
past few months. How do I tell her that I want out without
hurting her badly?
I have tried a couple of times to end things, but she gets
hysterical, starts crying and accuses me of wanting someone
else, which is not true. Please give me some advice.
-- IN A FIX, PASCAGOULA, MISS.
DEAR IN A FIX: If you want out, prepare yourself for her
emotional reaction. As you can see, she does not take this
kind of news well. Tell her again that you want to end the
relationship. When she starts crying and accusing you of
wanting someone else, hand her a tissue and tell her you
think she's "great," but you're not ready to settle down
with anyone right now.
DEAR ABBY: My husband doesn't like to go to funerals. In
the 25 years we have been together, I think he has only
been to three -- and that was only because he had been
asked to be a pallbearer. Fortunately, we haven't had to
deal with many losses on either side of the family.
We were talking recently and he shared that he would not go
to his own mother's funeral! They have a very close relation-
ship, and he explained that he only wants to remember her in
life, not in a coffin. I feel he should set aside his own
uncomfortable feelings and be there for the rest of the
family -- especially his brothers and sisters. What do you
think?
-- PAM IN SPRINGFIELD, OHIO
DEAR PAM: Your husband's feelings may change when the inev-
itable happens. However, whatever he decides -- and I cannot
stress this strongly enough -- you should back him up, be
there for him and not judge him.
DEAR ABBY: I recently completed my first year of college.
During the year, I met my current boyfriend. My goal this
summer is to have him meet my parents. Because we live six
hours apart, I thought it would be best if he stayed over
at my parents' house -- in the guest room, of course.
My father objected to it, but said that if it were deemed
acceptable by you, he would reconsider. What do you say,
Abby? Is there really a problem with having one's boyfriend
sleep over at one's parents' house?
-- CURIOUS CO-ED
DEAR CURIOUS CO-ED: If the sleeping accommodations are as
you have described -- and as long as there isn't any hanky-
panky going on in the wee hours of the morning -- I see no
problem with it.
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