Classic Laff-a-Day - June 18, 2010
Greetings Laff Lovers,
Do you think I'm insensitive? This morning I stopped into
the bank, and on my way out I saw a plump, elderly Mexican
woman waddling up to the door. Being the gentleman I am I
held the door open for her.
She grinned up at me and said, "Gracias, senor," in a thick,
I pulled the collar of my shirt up over my nose and mouth
and answered, "You're welcome."
She scowled at me and muttered, "Hijo de puta!" as she went
in. I'm not sure what that means, but it didn't sound good.
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"And Supreme Court Justice David Souter announced he is
retiring next month. You know who's replacing him? I was
surprised. Conan." --Jay Leno
This guy leaves the bar, hoping he can get home early enough
not to piss his wife off for drinking after work. He gets
home and finds his boss in bed with his wife.
Later, back at the bar, the guy tells the bartender the
"Wow, that's awful, what did you do?"
"Well, I carefully snuck back out the door, and hightailed
it back here, shoot, they we're just getting started, so I
figure, I got time for a couple more beers."
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I have a sister who is about 6 years older than myself, and
who, after graduating high school, married a navy man.
After a short stint in Key West, my sister and new brother-
in-law were stationed at the Norfolk NAS in Virginia.
On the occasion of my 14th birthday, my sister sent me a
wonderful package. It was a real wooden box labeled
"Virginia's Finest Sampler."
The box contained several vacuum sealed ham steaks, a pound
of dry cured bacon, a jar of Red Clover honey, a cloth bag
of corn bread mix, another of buttermilk biscuit mix, and a
small tin of specially blended tea.
That evening, I skittered into the kitchen to cook up my
birthday meal. I cooked up the corn bread and ham, and
opened a can of turnip greens to go with it, but when I went
to brew up the tea, the little tin was no where to be found.
Yelling to my parents from the other room, "Has anyone seen
"Your What?" came the reply.
"MY TEA! I'VE LOST MY VIRGINIA TEA!"
I immediately heard my parents in uproarious laughter. After
composing themselves, the tea was located and dinner was
I still have that little tin, which once held my precious
"Virginia tea," and it has become quite the topic of
P.S. You can discuss this issue or any other topic in the
new Classic Laffaday forum. Check it out here...
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