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Classic Laff-a-Day - June 18, 2010 http://laffaday.gophercentral.com ------------------------------------------------------------ Greetings Laff Lovers, Do you think I'm insensitive? This morning I stopped into the bank, and on my way out I saw a plump, elderly Mexican woman waddling up to the door. Being the gentleman I am I held the door open for her. She grinned up at me and said, "Gracias, senor," in a thick, just-across-the-border accent. I pulled the collar of my shirt up over my nose and mouth and answered, "You're welcome." She scowled at me and muttered, "Hijo de puta!" as she went in. I'm not sure what that means, but it didn't sound good. Cautiously, TZ mailto:tz@gophercentral.com Handy Trends Upside Down Tomato Planter World's Easiest Way To Grow Vegetables... Normal Price: $19.99 CLOSEOUT PRICE: $7.99 The Handy Trends Upside Down Tomato Planter is an ingenious tomato/vegetable planter turns gardening upside down!. Grow delicious, juicy tomatoes all season long simply by hanging it on a deck, balcony or patio. Simply plant a seedling plant in the wire basket, hang, water, and watch it grow... yep it is that easy. This efficient growing system yields up to 30 lbs of tomatoes per plant. As we said... The Tomato Planter can grow more than just tomatoes... try cucumbers, eggplants, herbs and more. You'll love how easy it is to have a garden on your patio. To get more info or order, visit: http://pd.gophercentral.com/u/1084/c/120/a/500 "And Supreme Court Justice David Souter announced he is retiring next month. You know who's replacing him? I was surprised. Conan." --Jay Leno This guy leaves the bar, hoping he can get home early enough not to piss his wife off for drinking after work. He gets home and finds his boss in bed with his wife. Later, back at the bar, the guy tells the bartender the story. "Wow, that's awful, what did you do?" "Well, I carefully snuck back out the door, and hightailed it back here, shoot, they we're just getting started, so I figure, I got time for a couple more beers." Electronic Pedometer A cheap & fun way to stay fit... http://pd.gophercentral.com/u/4054/c/186/a/500 "Right now, I'm an hour away from a long, luxurious weekend of washing my hands every five minutes and loading my shot- guns to fight off any swine flu zombies that might wander into the yard." --Jimmy Kimmel FULL SIZE (3' x 5') AMERICAN FLAG Normal Price: $19.99 LIQUIDATION SPECIAL: $4.99 We are pleased to announce that we have found Full-Size 3'x5' American flags available at liquidation prices... never sold before at these low prices. Made of durable polyester with two (2) metal grommets perfect for displaying. Its a great time to stock up AND pick up a couple for gifts, but there is a LIMIT of 8 per order. NO DEALERS PLEASE... VISIT: http://pd.gophercentral.com/u/1122/c/120/a/%%merge lists_.nalt3_= %% I have a sister who is about 6 years older than myself, and who, after graduating high school, married a navy man. After a short stint in Key West, my sister and new brother- in-law were stationed at the Norfolk NAS in Virginia. On the occasion of my 14th birthday, my sister sent me a wonderful package. It was a real wooden box labeled "Virginia's Finest Sampler." The box contained several vacuum sealed ham steaks, a pound of dry cured bacon, a jar of Red Clover honey, a cloth bag of corn bread mix, another of buttermilk biscuit mix, and a small tin of specially blended tea. That evening, I skittered into the kitchen to cook up my birthday meal. I cooked up the corn bread and ham, and opened a can of turnip greens to go with it, but when I went to brew up the tea, the little tin was no where to be found. Yelling to my parents from the other room, "Has anyone seen my tea?" "Your What?" came the reply. "MY TEA! I'VE LOST MY VIRGINIA TEA!" I immediately heard my parents in uproarious laughter. After composing themselves, the tea was located and dinner was served. I still have that little tin, which once held my precious "Virginia tea," and it has become quite the topic of conversation. P.S. You can discuss this issue or any other topic in the new Classic Laffaday forum. Check it out here... http://laffaday.gophercentral.com ************************************************************ YOUR VIDEO SNACK BAR Top Viewed Videos... 1. Sherlock Holmes - A Clever Disguise http://c.gophercentral.com/OS1n 2. Myths about alcohol you may not know http://c.gophercentral.com/thlD 3. I Am Mad As Hell! - from Network http://c.gophercentral.com/bEFO 4. Marine Silent Marching http://c.gophercentral.com/UpmL 5. Amos N´ Andy - In the IRS Office http://c.gophercentral.com/hsf3 6. Celebrities: Before and After Make-Up http://c.gophercentral.com/RQKj

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