Classic Laff-a-Day - May 28, 2010
Greetings Laff Lovers,
The wife has a long and busy weekend planned for herself.
She has a birthday party to attend, and then the next day
a baby shower and a wedding shower. The girls will go with her
and I'll send the boy to the neighbor's to swim all day.
Hmmm... I might not put pants on all weekend.
TIRED NO MORE...
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It?s generally not a good idea meeting guys in a bar. It's
like going grocery shopping when you're hungry; you bring
home stuff you don't need.
A man picks up a young woman in a bar and convinces her to
come back to his hotel.
When they are relaxing afterwards, he asks, "Am I the first
man you ever made love to?"
She looks at him thoughtfully for a second before replying.
"You might be," she says. "Your face looks familiar."
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"It was so hot out today in New York City that people were
playing in the fountains. When you're hot there's nothing more
refreshing than swimming in a homeless guy's urine."
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I found a Somali cruise package that departs from Sawakin
(in the Sudan) and docks at Bagamoya (in Tanzania). The
cost is a bit high, $800 per person double occupancy, but
I didn't find that offensive.
What I found enticing is that the cruise company is
encouraging people to bring their 'High powered weapons'
along on the cruise. If you don't have weapons you can rent
them right there on the boat. They claim to have a master
gunsmith on board and will have reloading parties every
afternoon. The cruise lasts from 4-8 days and nights and
costs a maximum of $3200 per person double occupancy.
All the boat does is sail up and down the coast of Somalia
waiting to get hijacked by pirates. Here are some of the
costs and claims associated with the package.
M-16 full auto rental $ 25.00/day ammo at 100 rounds of 5.56
armor piercing ammo at 15.95.
Ak-47 riffle @ No charge. ammo at 100 rounds of 7.62 com
block ball ammo at 14.95.
Barrett M-107 .50 cal sniper riffle rental 55.00/day ammo
at 25 rounds 50 cal armor piercing at 9.95.
"Everyone gets use of free complimentary night vision equip-
ment and coffee and snacks on the top deck from 7pm-6am."
They advertise group rates and corporate discounts and claim
"FUN FOR THE WHOLE FAMILY" and even offer a partial money
back if not satisfied....here's some text from the ad.
"We guarantee that you will experience at least two hijacking
attempts by pirates or we will refund back half your money
including gun rental charges and any unused ammo. How can we
guarantee you will experience a hijacking? We operate at 5
knots within 12 miles of the coast of Somalia. If an attempted
Hijacking does not occur we will turn the boat around and
cruise by at 4 knots.
As if all that isn't enough to whet your appetite, there were
a few testimonials...
"I got three confirmed kills on my last trip. I'LL
never hunt big game in Africa again. I felt like the
Komandant in Schindler's list!"
--Lars, Hamburg Germany
P.S. You can discuss this issue or any other topic in the
new Classic Laffaday forum. Check it out here...
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