Classic Laff-a-Day - May 25, 2010
Greetings Laff Lovers,
There has been a rash of, how should I say it, inappropriate
touching going around the office lately. Ear-flicking, pony-
tail-pulling and goosing, for example.
One of the girls started complaining to no one in particular
that if this kind of behavior doesn't stop she is going to
have to ask Magilla the ape-boss to institute some conduct
Hearing this I walked up behind her chair, began caressing
her shoulders and said, "I wouldn't bother. I'm the company
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What is the difference between frustration and panic?
Frustration is the first time you discover you can't do it
the second time.
Panic is the second time you discover you can't do it the
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When to Propose... Or Not
Men who can answer "yes" to five or more of these questions
should consider carefully before proposing marriage.
* In the kitchen, has she ever referred to an oven as "that
* Does she use the phrase "you know" more than twice per
* Is she making monthly payments of more than $300 to a
* Have you noticed her name tattoed on three or more local
* Have you noticed three or more local bikers' names tattooed
* Does she regularly compare your love-making talents to an
* Does she regularly compare your love-making talents to the
Green Bay Packers?
* Does she have a wholesale source for Deodorant-in-a-Drum?
* Has she ever used the word poo-poo?
* If forced to use it at all, does she choose to spell the
* Does her resume include a six-year stint at Big Leg Emma's
House of Painful Delights?
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When to Accept a Proposal... Or Not..
Women who can answer "yes" to five or more of these questions
should consider carefully before accepting a proposal of
* On his first date with you, did he pick you up early so you
could help with his laundry?
* To reach him in an emergency, would anyone think to call the
local adult bookstore?
* Has he ever bragged about seeing every episode of "Gilligan's
Island" at least four times?
* Is it unclear to some people whether that's a mustache or
just a lot of unruly nose hair?
* Is his idea of a classy restaurant one where every table has
its own stack of ketchup packets?
* Does his car get more than sixty miles per gallon?
* Does the label on his deodorant include the phrase "Industrial
* Has he memorized the telephone number of at least one bail-
P.S. You can discuss this issue or any other topic in the
new Classic Laffaday forum. Check it out here...
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