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Coffee Break Incense Gift Set
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GIFT SET INCLUDES:
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Feb. 26, 2010

HUSBAND IS DOG-TIRED OF BEING IGNORED BY WIFE

DEAR ABBY: I love my wife very much. I like giving her back
rubs, massaging her feet, cuddling and kissing her. In return
she does the same -- to her dog, "Barkley."

Barkley is the only one who benefits from her affections.
The dog does nothing for me except allow me to pick up his
droppings. What am I missing?
-- DOGGONE PUZZLED IN CEDAR RAPIDS, IOWA

DEAR DOGGONE PUZZLED: What you are missing is something
called "reciprocation." And your wife is missing how resent-
ful you are beginning to feel because of it. If you haven't
already done so, "Speak!" to your wife about it and tell her
you need some of those demonstrations of affection aimed in
your direction -- or someone's going to wind up in the dog-
house, and it won't be Barkley.


DEAR ABBY: My husband, "Brian," has a terminal illness and
only a few months more to live. We have been married four
years. I fell out of love with him shortly after our wedding,
and now he's sick. I'm his only caregiver.

Abby, sometimes I don't want to do it anymore. He has treated
me badly and sometimes I hate him, but I want our 2-year-old
daughter to know her father and have good memories. She can
tell I'm not myself.

I know Brian has only a little time left, but I also know we
would be happier and saner with him gone. I try to keep her
away from him as much as I can because he goes off on her,
too. I know my husband is angry because he's dying, but he
has always been angry and had a bad temper. I try to be
positive for our child, but it's difficult when you're being
put down or ordered around all the time. What can I do? Just
hang in there until it's over? I'm confused, lost, depressed,
and I cry all the time. Please help.
-- WANTS OUT IN SOUTH CAROLINA

DEAR WANTS OUT: Please accept my sympathy. What you're
experiencing is the most difficult of life's transitions --
painful, exhausting, sometimes thankless. But for your sake,
please don't give up now. Once this is over you will emerge
stronger, more confident -- and knowing you did your best
and fulfilled your wedding vows to the very end.

Although you feel alone right now, you are experiencing what
many other caregivers do when dealing with a loved one who
is dying. Because you feel isolated, you might benefit from
contacting the Family Caregiver Alliance. Its toll-free
telephone number is 800-445-8106; the Web site is
www.caregiver.org.

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DEAR ABBY: When I started dating this guy, "Mitch," every-
thing was great. We were happy and made each other laugh.
After three months, he left me a message saying he had to
go out of state for work and would call when he got to where
he was going. All I got was silence. Days turned into weeks
and eventually into five months. Even though I loved Mitch
and he had claimed he loved me, I started to accept that
things were over between us.

Just as I was getting over him, he called. He told me he
still loves me and is sorry he hurt me. Something does not
add up. He doesn't have a cell phone, so there's no way to
reach him. When I call him at the number he gave me, he's
never there. I care for him, but something is not sitting
well. What should I do?
-- MYSTIFIED IN BATH, PA.

DEAR MYSTIFIED: Pay attention to your intuition, which is
trying to tell you that Mitch is a magician. Having pulled
one disappearing act on you, he is likely to perform another.
When a man isn't where he says he'll be, the odds are that
he is either married or involved with someone else.



To receive a collection of Abby's most memorable -- and most
frequently requested -- poems and essays, send a business-
sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order
for $6 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Keepers Booklet, P.O.
Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included
in the price.)

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as
Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline
Phillips. Write Dear Abby at
T="_new" class="abbylink">www.DearAbby.com
or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.