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Jan. 4, 2009
GRANDMA LOOKS FOR GUIDANCE TO TAME HAPPY WILD CHILD
DEAR ABBY: My 8-year-old granddaughter has posed a question
that stumped me, and I hope you can help with an answer: Why
be neat and well-groomed?
She doesn't care what people think of how she looks. She sees
no problem wearing clothes that are torn, etc. I am concerned
that by the time she reaches adolescence she won't care how
she looks when she leaves the house.
Her hair is extremely curly. It can't be combed or it gets
wilder and frizzier, which adds to her unkempt appearance.
Her hair may improve as she gets older if she's motivated
to spend the extra time.
I am challenged by her question. How can I answer her?
-- LOST FOR WORDS IN FLORIDA
DEAR LOST FOR WORDS: Please stop trying to have an adult
conversation with an 8-year-old. Where is this child's
mother? Why is she permitted to go around in "torn, etc."
clothing? It's time to talk to your son or daughter about
helping their child with her grooming. The way your grand-
daughter looks is not only a reflection on herself, but
also the adults whose responsibility it is to care for
her. While she may not care how she looks, her parents
should.
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DEAR ABBY: I'm a college freshman, majoring in French but
taking other languages as well. I don't know what I want to
do with my life, but I know that I love learning languages.
My friend, "Lacey," has offered me the chance to stay with
her family in France during our next summer break. Her
family suggested it, and Lacey is urging me to go. I want
to go to France, but I was planning on studying abroad
through my university in a couple of years.
Lacey thinks I should stay with her family for a month or
two in order to appreciate the culture. She says I could do
some baby-sitting or chores to earn my keep, but I have two
concerns: I feel it would be an inconvenience for her family
to take me in as a houseguest for the whole summer. And I
don't know what I would do with myself.
Lacey won't be there, and I'd be living in a suburban area.
I have no idea how I'd learn the culture without the struc-
ture only a school can provide. Lacey says school isn't a
true experience, and I should just show up in France and
decide as I go. We have reached an impasse, and I'd like to
know what you would do in my shoes.
-- TRES TROUBLEE IN NEW HAMPSHIRE
DEAR TRES TROUBLEE: Are you kidding? If I was offered a
once-in-a-lifetime experience like this one, I'd take
Lacey up on it in two seconds flat. And I'd keep a jour-
nal.
DEAR ABBY: I work in a candy store where things are pretty
fast-paced and always busy. Please tell me how I should
handle customers at the register -- mothers and daughters,
couples, friends -- who fight over who should pay for the
order. Two people will wave their cash at me and tell me
not to let the other one pay. They actually expect me to
choose!
From whom should I take the money in these pairs of people?
If the store wasn't constantly so busy, I'd let them squabble
among themselves, but that's not the case. I need to get the
line moving in order to help other customers. Please advise.
-- GIRL WITH A "SWEET" DILEMMA
DEAR GIRL: Handle it this way: Smile and say, "While you two
are trying to decide, I'll help the next customer!"
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