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March 2, 2010

GOING TO THE GYM BECOMES EXERCISE IN EMBARRASSMENT

DEAR ABBY: I just joined a gym, and I love everything about
it except for one thing -- the ladies' locker room.

I am modest so I use the private changing rooms when getting
dressed. There are some women who feel very comfortable
walking around in various stages of undress. Not only are
they naked, they don't think twice about bending over to get
into their lockers, or standing topless while blow-drying
their hair.

In a place full of mirrors, seeing all this is difficult to
avoid. I don't want to stop using the locker room because
it's convenient. Is there anything I can do, or must I put
up with the peep shows?
-- MISS MODESTY IN PRINCETON, N.J.

DEAR MISS M.: Women in various stages of nudity are not a
"peep show." They are par for the course in women's locker
rooms everywhere. And yes, there is something you can do:
As you pass through on your way in and out, keep your eyes
modestly downcast. That way, at most, you will see only a
few naked toes. Or visit the gym during hours when the
place is not so busy.


DEAR ABBY: I am stationed in Iraq. My husband is home taking
care of our two teenagers -- a 16-year-old boy and a
14-year-old girl.

My daughter has had several sleepovers at her friends'.
On two separate occasions, the mothers allowed the girls
to dye their hair. They did this without first consulting
my husband.

Am I old-fashioned, or isn't this something a parent should
decide for a 14-year-old? Did the other parents think that
it was OK since I wasn't home to disapprove?

My husband is doing an excellent job of parenting while I am
deployed, and he would never have allowed her to dye her
hair. How should we handle this type of situation?
-- MOM ON DUTY IN IRAQ

DEAR MOM: Your husband should have told the adults plainly
the first time it happened that he objected to the dye job.
Since that didn't happen, please remain calm and remember
that it's only hair -- which will grow out. And now that you
know the parents of your daughter's friends lack judgment,
any sleepovers she attends should be in your home until your
return from overseas.

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DEAR ABBY: My fiance and I are discussing being married at
the courthouse before our actual wedding ceremony -- months
in advance. Our reason is he will finish graduate school
and needs a place to stay -- or else it's back home.

The second reason is, if we live in separate households,
it will create two sets of household bills. Under one roof
we can share the expenses and save ourselves an ample
amount of money to put toward our actual ceremony and honey-
moon.

This is our first marriage and, we hope, our last. We want
to make it a memorable one. Does this make sense, and if so,
how should we approach our potential guests about our plans
to "tie the knot"?
-- TO DO OR NOT TO DO IN ALABAMA

DEAR T.D. OR NOT T.D.: The way to handle it is to be open and
aboveboard. Let your friends -- and extended family -- know
that you plan to be married quietly in a civil ceremony at
the courthouse and have a formal renewal of vows, complete
with gown, religious blessing, etc. to which they will be
invited to share your joy several months later.



Abby shares more than 100 of her favorite recipes in two
booklets: "Abby's Favorite Recipes" and "More Favorite
Recipes by Dear Abby." Send a business-size, self-addressed
envelope, plus check or money order for $12 (U.S. funds)

to: Dear Abby -- Cookbooklet Set, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris,
IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in price.)

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as
Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline
Phillips. Write Dear Abby at
T="_new" class="abbylink">www.DearAbby.com
or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.