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THE DAILY GROANER - August 4, 2014
Good Morning Groanies,Thanks for reading and writing in. I enjoy reading you probably as much as you enjoy reading me. Speaking of which... here's a great reader comment that came my way.
While on vacation in Palm Springs, my significant other and I were reading at the pool, when I caught of flash of wrinkles with a swash of red. I'll elbowed my friend and said, "Eyes on the gate," and an 80+ year old man with a red speedo came in with several generations down to 5-6 year old children: obviously a family reunion. We couldn't look at each other for fear of laughing out loud. Any man in a speedo is a target, but an octogenarian was really over the top. --Michelc21
[
Speedos are bad enough, but when a wrinkly, old, pasty dude is sporting the old banana hammock that becomes something that one cannot un-see! I still have nightmares about Spring Break 1998.]
Groaningly yours,
SteveP.S. Did you miss an issue? You can read every issue from the Gophercentral library of newsletters on our exhaustive archives page. Thousands of issues, all of your favorite publications in chronological order. You can read AND comment. Just click
GopherArchivesJokes? Comments? Questions?
Email Steve*-- I'm Not Repeating Myself --*The Committee for the Reduction of Redundancy and the Antiproliferation of Repetition has decided not to meet until they have their first meeting and thus will not be meeting until the first time.
Their Pre-meeting Statement wanted to make this clear before they had their first meeting, so that it would not be confusing.
So their first meeting will actually be their first meeting and they will not have a meeting before the first meeting.
This should avoid having people show up for their first meeting before it is held, since to do so would be confusing to those who did so and this is what they want to avoid by reducing the confusion and lessening the repetition.
*-- Don't Get Swept Away --*A very small female janitor (4'10", 90 pounds) worked at an amusement park and was told to go out and sweep up the grounds.
As she was getting ready to head out to clean up, her supervisor noticed her putting rocks in her pockets. When asked what she was doing, she pointed out that it was so windy out she was afraid of getting knocked over by the wind.
'So,' she said, 'now I weigh me down to sweep.'
*-- Q and A Quickies --*Q: Where do geologists like to relax?
A: In a rocking chair.
Q: What did the earthquake say to the volcano?
A: It's not my fault.
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