THE DAILY GROANER - Monday, April 16th 2012

Good Morning Groanies,

Yesterday, I had the best night of sleep in a week. The weather was a bit nicer than it had been so I made sure that I took advantage.

It was such a good sleep! I can't stress enough just how well I was snoozing. Man, I couldn't have slept better if you slapped a diaper on me and put a pacifier in my mouth.

I mean... not that I want that or anything. Or that I have ever done that... a couple of times. What?

Groaningly yours,
Steve

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*-- How Many Sheep Do You Have? --*
There once was a blonde who was very tired of blonde jokes and insults directed at her intelligence.

So, she cut and dyed her hair, got a make-over, got in her car, and began driving around in the country.

Suddenly, she came to a herd of sheep in the road. She stopped her car and went over to the shepherd who was tending to them.

"If I can guess the exact number of sheep here, will you let me have one?" she asked.

The shepherd, thinking this was a pretty safe bet, agreed.

"You have 171 sheep," said the blonde in triumph.

Surprised, the shepherd told her to pick out a sheep of her choice.

She looked around for a while and finally found one that she really liked.

She picked it up and was petting it when the shepherd walked over to her and asked, "if I can guess your real hair color, will you give me my sheep back?"

The blonde thought it was only fair to let him try. "You're a blonde! Now give me back my dog."

*-- Once A Lawyer... --*
Two attorneys were walking out of a bar and a beautiful woman walks by.

One attorney turns to his associate and comments, "Boy, would I like to screw her!"

The other attorney thinks for a second and said, "Out of what?"

*-- Q and A Quickies --*
Q: What do you call bees on Halloween?

A: Boo-Bees!


Q: How is a drama teacher like an obsolete form of public transportation?

A: They are both stage coaches.

***
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