THE DAILY GROANER - Wednesday, Nov. 14th 2012

Good Morning Groanies,

There is nothing quite like the feeling you get when you find something, but sometimes you might regret what you have found.

I found a sandwich in the pocket of my bathrobe the other day. I don't know how long it was in there, but I'm not the guy to pass up a found sandwich. It wasn't half bad.

My doctor told me that my night sweats should stop in a few days and my belly button should return to being a visible "innie" in a month or so.

I wish I knew what the hell was on that sandwich. Good rule of thumb: Always check your sandwich before eating it, or just make it yourself, or let found sandwiches lie. Write that down. I don't want you to forget that one. It make just save your life... or your vision... or possibly your ability to taste.

Groaningly yours,
Steve

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Jokes? Questions? Comments? Email Steve


*-- Making Her Point --*
When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed. But, somehow I always had something else to take care of first, the shed, the boat, making beer... Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point.

When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors. I watched silently for a short time and then went into the house. I was gone only a minute, and when I came out again I handed her a toothbrush. I said, "When you finish cutting the grass, you might as well sweep the driveway."

The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a limp.


*-- I'm Not Happy --*
I rear-ended a car this morning...the start of a REALLY bad day!

The driver got out of the other car, and he was a DWARF!

He looked up at me and said, "I am NOT Happy!"

So I said, "Well, which one ARE you then?"


*-- Q and A Quickies --*
Q: What mouse walks on two legs?

A: Mickey Mouse!


Q: What duck walks on two legs?

A: All ducks walk on two legs!

***
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