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THE DAILY GROANER - July 22, 2015
Good Morning Groanies,
The power went out in the office yesterday afternoon. It was crazy, to suddenly be thrust into darkness and truly become helpless without electricity, and the internet. I mean how am I supposed to update my Facebook status.
It only took 30 minutes before the crazy set in. The office suddenly divided into two waring clans. We battled over water, snacks, and who we were going to eat when the snacks ran out. Watch your butt, TZ.
Then, at 1 hour, it was full-on 'Lord of the Flies' craziness. Armed with sharpened selfie sticks and an endless supply of flashlights, we were out for blood. It was brother against brother in a vicious orgy of foaming, beastly carnage that would have scared a honey badger.
Then the lights came on and out came our collective humanity, and life carried on.
I know you're probably thinking that I'm being a bit flip with this tale, but someone did actually put ketchup on TZ's leg and bit him. The rumor is... delicious!
Groaningly yours,
Steve
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Jokes? Comments? Questions?
Email Steve
*-- Q and A Quickies --*
Q: Where do geologists like to relax?
A: In a rocking chair.
Q: What did the earthquake say to the volcano?
A: It's not my fault.
*-- Highway to Heaven --*
A cop pulls over a carload of nuns.
Cop: "Sister, this is a 65 MPH highway -- why are you going so slow?"
Sister: "Sir, I saw a lot of signs that said 22, not 65."
Cop: "Oh sister, that's not the speed limit, that's the name of the highway you're on!
Sister: Oh! Silly me! Thanks for letting me know. I'll be more careful.
At this point the cop looks in the backseat where the other nuns are shaking and trembling.
Cop: Excuse me, Sister, what's wrong with your friends back there? They're shaking something terrible.
Sister: Oh, we just got off of highway 119.
*-- More Q and A Quickies --*
Q: What dinosaur would you find in a rodeo?
A: Bronco-saurus!
Q: What dinosaur can't stay out in the rain?
A: Stegosaur-rust!
***
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