THE DAILY GROANER - Monday, July 9th 2012

Good Morning Groanies,

The other day I was at the pharmacy. (I was actually going to write "drug store" instead of "pharmacy". And if I would have I then would have referred to the pharmacist as the druggist. I'm 30, but I talk and write like it's 1930.)

So, I was at the pharmacy awaiting the refilling of a prescription when I noticed a mother and her 5-year-old son. They were stopped in front of that carousel of reading glasses near the counter. The little boy asked his mother what kind of glasses were on the display. She told him that they were reading glasses. And then the little boy asked, "Oh, so you put them on and then you can read?" And then he put a pair on his face.

In my head I said, "What's wrong with that kid? Reading glasses don't help you to read, they help you to see. You learn to read first, then, as you get older, you may need to get reading glasses to help you to see small type and then be able to read it, much like when you were young and had better vision. This kid doesn't know what the hell he's talking about."

Then I realized what a stupendous ass I was in thinking what I thought about what this tot was talking about... or aboot, if you're from Canada.

I feel horrible that I made such a blatant snap judgment like that. I know deep down that that wasn't what he meant. Sorry, little guy. It was a simple misunderstanding.

Then he asked his mother if anti-itch cremes can only be used by aunts or could uncles use them too. Then I really lost it.

Groaningly yours,
Steve

P.S. Are you on Facebook? If you are, check out the Deal of the Day fan page. You get exclusive offers and a new deal every day. It is easy to become a fan, just Click Here and hit the like button...

Jokes? Questions? Comments? Email Steve

Now You Can Follow the Daily Groaner on Twitter: DailyGroaner

*-- Get Out of This House --*
My wife was screaming at me: "Leave! Get out of this house!" she ordered.

As I was walking out the door she yelled, "I hope you die a slow and painful death!"

So I turned around and replied, "So now you want me to stay?"

(Jokes courtesy of BBIX34)

*-- That Monkey Stole My Beer --*
A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. He takes his first sip and sets it down. While he is looking around the bar, a monkey swings down and steals the pint of beer from him before he is able to stop the monkey.

The man asks the bartender who owns the monkey. The bartender replies, "The piano player."

The man walks over to the piano player and says, "Do you know your monkey stole my beer."

The pianist replies "No, but if you hum it, I'll play it."

*-- Q and A Quickies --*
Q: Why is a fish easy to weigh?

A: Because it has its own scales!


Q: Why do elephants wear "tennies"?

A: Cause ninesies are too small and elevensies are are too big.

(Jokes courtesy of DRUMNCHIEF)

***
Missed an Issue? Visit the Daily Groaner Archives