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THE DAILY GROANER - Friday, November 20th 2009
Good Morning Groanies,
I went to see my doctor the other day. He was glad to see
me because I usually have a rather bizarre and complex
medical question to ask him during my visits. This visit
was no different.
Once I was weighed and had my blood pressure taken I
anxiously awaited my doctor's entrance into the exam room.
After eating sixteen cotton balls I heard a knock at the
door and then he entered.
"So what's it today? He said with a defeated tone in his
voice.
"Oh, it's a good one," I said like a giddy child.
He took a deep breath and asked, "It's not about aliens
stealing your thoughts to figure out what your favorite
flavor of bubble gum is so that they can stop its product-
ion, is it?"
"No, not this time, Doc."
"What then?"
I paused and then I let him have it, "Doc, can you make
your mind believe that you are physically older than you
actually are and then your body begins to age rapidly
because your mind makes your body believe that it's old
and then you get gray hair overnight and then you want
to watch old "Mannix" episodes all of the time and the
waistline of your pants starts to move up towards your
neck and you tell people to turn their music down and
you turn your TV game shows up and you feel really old?"
After a long breath my doctor looked at me with intense
focus and said very calmly, "Yes."
"I KNEW IT!"
Good visit. Will get to that alien business during the
next visit.
Groaningly yours,
Steve
Email Steve: mailto:groaner@gophercentral.com
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So there's this Wizard who worked in a factory. Everything
was satisfactory except that certain miscreants, taking
advantage of his good nature, would steal his parking
spot. This continued until he put up the following sign:
"This parking space belongs to the Wizard... Violators
will be toad."
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Q: What did the mime say to the bartender?
A: ......
Q: Did you hear about the peanut in the hospital?
A: He was a-salted.
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