February 19, 2018

Good Morning Groanies,

Once again. What the hell does that even mean?

I never understood why people use that during a speech. They usually use it when saying something like, "Once again we are gathered to witness another blabbering blabbity-doo."

"Once Again" is an oxymoron, is it not? It's part of the tradition of putting two terms together that have no business being anywhere near each other.

You may remember such classics as... jumbo shrimp, deafening silent, military intelligence, sweet sorrow, organized chaos, Icy Hot, non-dairy creamer, mutual differences, mandatory options and head butt.

We may never know where "once again" came from or what it is supposed to mean, I would take an educated guess, but that would just defeat the purpose.

Groaningly yours,
Steve

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Jokes? Comments? Questions? Email Steve

*-- Getting Glasses --*

The blonde went to an eye doctor to have her eyes checked for glasses. The doctor directed her to read various letters with the left eye while covering the right eye.

The blonde was so mixed up on which eye was which that the eye doctor in disgust took a paper sack with a hole to see through, and put it on her head to cover up the appropriate eye and asked her to read the letters.

As he did so, he noticed the blonde had tears streaming down her face. "Look," said the doctor, "there's no need to get upset about getting glasses."

"I know," agreed the blonde, "But I kind of had my heart set on wire frames."

*-- What Would the Neighbors Think? --*

Jack was living in Arizona during a heat wave when the following took place.

"It's just too hot to wear clothes today," complained Jack as he stepped out of the shower. "Honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?"

"Probably that I married you for your money."

*-- Q and A Quickies --*

Q: Why did the doughnut go to the dentist?

A: It needed a chocolate filling.


Q: How can you tell if a calendar is popular?

A: It has a lot of dates!