THE DAILY GROANER - February 4, 2015

Good Morning Groanies,

My hands hurt from shoveling all of that snow that the Midwest got hammered with over the weekend so I'm going to take things easy.

Please, enjoy the jokes and stick around for some delightful reader comments that found their way to me. Thank you much.

Groaningly yours,
Steve

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Jokes? Comments? Questions? Email Steve


*-- Nervous Nail Biting --*
Two older ladies were discussing their husbands over tea.

"I do wish that my George would stop biting his nails. He makes me terribly nervous."

"My Herbert used to do the same thing," the older woman replied. "But I broke him of the habit."

"How?"

"I hid his teeth."


*-- There Were Two Fish... --*
There were two fish in a tank. One of them said to the other: "How do you drive this thing?"


*-- Q and A Quickies --*
Q: What do you call a dinosaur in cowboy boots?

A: Tyranosauras Tex.


Q: How many therapists does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Only one, but the light bulb has to want to change.


*-- Reader Comments --*
Steve, I had to make a bathroom run after reading your joke, "what's the first thing you know?". It kind of took me by surprise and left me in tears, spitting out my coffee, and having to pee from laughing so damned hard! You always make my day!!!! -Trickie
[What you experienced is known in humortown as The Trifecta!]

Wow, that was a serious rant about a ground hog and the weather!! Either you were rooting for Seattle or it must be really cold in Chicago? -Gary
[It's really cold and snowy and miserable!]

Hey, the groundhog can't be any worse than the weathermen who have millions of dollars of equipment at their disposal. Remember "blizzardgate" for New York? -DRUMNCHIEF
[That's true, but if the groundhog is wrong then we can teach him a lesson but eating him.]

With all due respect, Steve is that a relative you're griping about? -jpavko
[Is that a crack about my body hair?]

***
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