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THE DAILY GROANER - Wednesday, Dec. 26th 2012

Good Morning Groanies,


Wow, the last two days have been crazy. There's been a lot of driving, eating, present opening, caroling, eggnog drinking, tree trimming, jiggle belling, Fa-la-la-la-la-ing, etc. I've got to slow-down or I'm not going to make it to New Years.

Now, here's the final Top Ten of Funny Street Names.

1. Poor Grab Rd.
2. Divorce Court
3. HAVEITEUR WAY
4. Memory Lane
5. Goesno Place
6. Jackass Annie Road
7. Booger Hollow Rd.
8. Lick Skillet Rd.
9. Walton Tea Room Rd.
10. Bong Rd.

Have a great holiday week. I'll see you back here on Monday.

Groaningly yours,
Steve


P.S. EVTV1 is back and better than ever! This video portal was created to weed through the online clutter to bring you the best animal video clips...funniest videos...most popular...PLUS the most unusual. New videos are added daily! It's the future of entertainment available today, all in one place.

Visit and Enjoy:
EVTV1.com

Jokes? Comments? Questions? Email Steve


*-- Bad News or the Very Bad News --*

This guy goes into a doctor's office. The doctor says, "Oh, Mr. Jones! We have the results of your test. Do you want the bad news first or the very bad news?"

The guy shrugs and says, "Well I guess I'll have the bad news first." "Well, the bad news is, you have 24 hours to live," the doctor replies.

The man is distraught, "24 hours to live? That's horrible! What could be worse than that? What's the VERY bad news?" The doctor folds his hands and sighs, "The very bad news is... I've been trying to contact you since yesterday."


*-- What Time Do You Open? --*

A bar owner locked up his place at 2 AM and went home to sleep. He had been in bed only a few minutes when the phone rang. "What time do you open up in the morning?" he heard an obviously inebriated man inquire.

The owner was so furious, he slammed down the receiver and went back to bed. A few minutes later there was another call and he heard the same voice ask the same question. "Listen," the owner shouted, "there's no sense in asking me what time I open because I wouldn't let a person in your condition in-"

"I don't want to get in," the caller interjected.

"I want to get out."


*-- Q and A Quickies --*

Q: Who do you call when your calculator dies?

A: The mathemortician.


Q: what do rich cats have in their refrigerators?

A: Automatic mice makers.

***

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