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THE DAILY GROANER - Monday, December 6th 2010
Good Morning Groanies,
When I was at the grocery store the other day I noticed
this guy in the checkout lane next to mine. The reason I
noticed him was he was talking obnoxiously loud on his
cellphone. He was going on and on about how the person he
was talking to apparently, "...doesn't understand what I'm
all about!"
Now, I've only been around this turd for three minutes and
I can unequivocally state that I know what this guy is all
about. It's true, I can. This guy is all about being an
undeniable societal pest that has the gall to breathe my
air and tell people that they haven't a clue that he is
simply a giant tumorous douche on this planet. And you can
quote me.
And then I also have to say that if you're the kind of
person that has to be told by a real winner like that that
you don't understand him then you have made a series of
horrendous life choices. People like that shouldn't even
come in range of humans.
I think everyone has to have one of these characters in
their life, in one way or another. If you do... I'm deeply
sorry. But, you always have the option of giving them a
penny and watching them try to jam it into an electrical
outlet.
Oh, and on an entirely different note, thanks to all for
the wonderful birthday wishes! You're the best.
Groaningly yours,
Steve
Email Steve: mailto:groaner@gophercentral.com
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This guy has been working as a bag boy in a supermarket
for five years.
One day the supermarket gets new orange juice machines,
and the bag boy is real excited and asks the manager if
he can work the juice machines.
The manager says no.
The bagger says, "But I've been working here for 5 years,
why can't I run the juice machines?"
The manager goes, "I'm sorry, son, but, baggers can't be
juicers."
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A paperboy said to a customer one day, "Mr. Smith,
I wish I had twenty customers like you."
"Gosh, that's nice to hear," said Smith, "but I'm
kind of surprised considering I never tip all that
well and always pay late."
The paperboy said, "I know, but I'd still like twenty
customers like you. The problem is I have one hundred
and forty!"
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A: Because the Bed Won't Come To Us.
Q: What color is a burp?
A: Burple!
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