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THE DAILY GROANER - August 31, 2016

Good Morning Groanies,


It was so miserably hot last week that I got the ol' noodle going on a few ingenious ways to keep cool and avoid the all of the fun that comes with practically combusting... spontaneously.

1. Fill your bathtub up with ice cubes and frost from the freezer, jump in, and play 'Defrosting Caveman.' (Make sure no one is using the bathroom at the time of play. And have a spotter present.)

2. Cover your naked body in ice cream sandwiches. (Simple, Delicious, and Sexy!)

3. Spend a little time in a meat locker and if anybody asks you what you're doing just ask them, "Where's the Beef?" (Great for both keeping cool and getting a tasty bite for later.)

Stay cool, Cats and Kittens.

Groaningly yours,
Steve


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Jokes? Comments? Questions? Email Steve


*-- I'm Not Paying! --*

Three animals were having a drink in a cafe, when the owner asked for the money.

"I'm not paying," said the duck. "I've only got one bill and I'm not breaking it."

"I've spent my last buck," said the deer.

"Then the duck'll have to pay," said the skunk.

"Getting here cost me my last scent."




*-- Old Man and Ice Cream --*

A little old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlor and pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool.

After catching his breath he ordered a banana split. The waitress asked kindly, "Crushed nuts?"

"No," he replied, "arthritis.




*-- Q and A Quickies --*

Q: What kind of horses go out after dusk?

A: Nightmares!


Q: What do you get when you cross a frog with a rabbit?

A: A Bunny Ribbit!

***

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