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THE DAILY GROANER - Wednesday, April 21st 2010
Good Morning Groanies,
I'm a huge fan of movies. I could watch movies all day,
everyday. Lately I've noticed that the latest offerings
from Hollywood have begun to get on my nerves. It's
chiefly caused by the no-talent hacks in the movie busi-
ness that just keep ripping off cinematic classics because
they couldn't come up with an original idea if their lives
depended on it. The remake machine just keeps on trucking
and continually ruins classic films, characters and
concepts that gave new life to the movie industry. I'll
always love movies, but here are a few things I noticed
that rub me the wrong way.
Things in movies that bother me.
1. It seems like everyone drives a brand new car. Don't
cars get dirty in the movies?
2. Whenever anyone has to go to the bathroom they always
leave their underwear on. It's true!
3. Whenever anyone buys anything they never get change
back. I know I'd want my change in this economy.
4. Whenever a friend of the protagonist is killed the
protagonist will feel grief for 30 seconds, then gets
over it and moves on.
5. The lame one-liner the hero says before he or she
defeats the villain. Classic movies are okay, but new
movies need to stop beating this hackneyed bit to death.
6. Just about every ending leaves things open for a sequel.
And even if isn't they'll make a sequel anyway.
7. Kids are either sugary sweet or unadulterated evil.
8. REMAKES!!! Please just stop it!
9. When action movies have a complete, total disregard for
the laws of physics. Excluding the "Matrix".
10. Whenever anyone from an English speaking country goes
to a non-English speaking country for some weird reason
everyone speaks English. Weird, huh?
Just a few things to think about the next time you're at
the movies.
Also, here's a great reader comment.
I'm always learning. It's an on going thing.
Groaningly yours,
Steve
Here's something for your next week's "things I learned
last week." Ongoing is all one word.
Happy Springtime! Linda P.
[Thanks for the comment, Linda. I'll have add that one to
my list. I'm really pleased that you caught that one.]
Groaningly yours,
Steve
Email Steve: mailto:groaner@gophercentral.com
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Q: What brand of toothpaste to gerbils use?
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Q: Why do bees have sticky hair?
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