THE DAILY GROANER - February 12, 2014

Good Morning Groanies,

I took a nap over the weekend. I really needed one so I took it. Aren't naps the best?

There's nothing like a nap. A nap can replenish your energy level in such a way that it cannot be duplicated or manufactured in any way, shape, or form.

Gatorade wishes that they could come out with a new flavor like Nectarine Nap or Strawberry-Banana Snooze that could equal a much needed visit from the Sandman, but they can't. And I'll sleep to that.

There's nothing like a nap. Trust me. It's not just for babies anymore.

Groaningly yours,
Steve

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Jokes? Comments? Questions? Email Steve


*-- Why Are You Yelling? --*
A painting contractor was speaking with a woman about her job.

In the first room, she said she would like a pale blue.

The contractor wrote this down and went to the window, opened it, and yelled out, "green side up!"

In the second room, she told the painter she would like it painted in a soft yellow.

He wrote this on his pad, walked to the window, opened it, and yelled, "green side up!"

The lady was somewhat curious, but she said nothing.

In the third room, she said she would like it painted a warm rose color.

The painter wrote this down, walked to the window, opened it and yelled, "green side up!"

The lady then asked him, "Why do you keep yelling 'green side up'?"

"I'm sorry," came the reply. "But I have a crew of blondes laying sod across the street.


*-- Confucius Say... --*
Confucius say: "He who neglects to pay his electric bill shall be de-lighted."

Confucius say: "He who works in a darkroom must maintain a negative attitude."

Confucius say: "Woman who gets breast implants is making mountains out of molehills."

Confucius say: "He who breaks wind in church shall sit in his own pew."


*-- Q and A Quickies --*
Q: Where do you learn to make banana splits?

A: In sundae school.


Q: What did one hair say to the other?

A: It takes two to tangle!

***
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