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THE DAILY GROANER - September 23, 2015
Good Morning Groanies,
I found a fly in my food. Let me start earlier.
I was eating some leftovers the other night when I noticed that two flies were making their way around the kitchen. I needed a napkin so I got up and walked away to get one. When I returned I noticed that there was only one fly participating in the airshow. I didn't think anything of it and I went on eating.
Into my third forkful of food I discovered the location of the missing fly. He must have landed in the gravy and wasn't the strongest of swimmers. Needless the say that ended my dining experience for that particular evening.
I will say this... I did think about just disgarding the fly and continuing to eat, but then I had the though that I better find the other fly before dinner tonight. It's lasagna night!
Groaningly yours,
Steve
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*-- What Are These Numbers? --*
The math teacher saw that little Johnny wasn't paying attention in class. She called on him and said, "Johnny, what are 2 and 4 and 28 and 44?"
Little Johnny quickly replied, "NBC, CBS, HBO and the Cartoon Network!"
*-- Lawyers Are So Materialistic --*
A lawyer opened the door of his BMW, when suddenly a car came along and hit the door, ripping it off completely. When the police arrived at the scene, the lawyer was complaining bitterly about the damage to his precious BMW.
"Officer, look what they've done to my Beemer!" he whined. "You lawyers are so materialistic, you make me sick!" retorted the officer, "You're so worried about your stupid BMW, that you didn't even notice that your left arm was ripped off!"
"Oh my god", replied the lawyer, finally noticing the bloody left shoulder where his arm once was, "Where's my Rolex!"
*-- Q and A Quickies --*
Q: What did the baby light bulb say to his mommy?
A: "I wuv you watts and watts."
Q: Why was the broom late for work?
A: Because he over-swept.
***
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