THE DAILY GROANER - April 14, 2014

Good Morning Groanies,

Jack is just under a month away from becoming a two year-old, but it seems that the terrible twos are already here.

It's been fun and frustrating, but hopefully it will run its course... or I'm going to build a time machine and speed things up.

I think what gets on my nerves is the acts of irrationality that Jack seems to create. For instance, he will ask for some cereal for breakfast and when you bring it to him he freaks out and tells you he didn't want it. And then when you remove it from his sight he goes into a meltdown. He doesn't know what he wants.

The more often it happens the better Stacy and I deal with it... most of the time. Like the other day...

Jack wanted to see the airplane that he had heard overhead put it was so overcast that you couldn't see much of anything. He cried and kept pointing to the sky hoping to see the plane pass on by. However, he did calm down when I tossed him up in the air and caught him a few times.

He either enjoyed being tossed in the air and forgot the plane was even up there or the air was really thin and he just zoned out a bit. I know that that will only work for so long because I have very limited upper-body strength and I can only toss him so high.

Groaningly yours,
Steve

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Jokes? Comments? Questions? Email Steve


*-- To The Moon! --*
At a press conference the Brunettes announce they are going to make a trip to the Moon.

The Redheads speak up "That's been done before, we're going to go to Mars".

The Blondes speak up "That's nothing, we're going to be the first people to go to the Sun".

One of the reporters says, "Don't you idiots know that you'll burn up?"

The Blondes say, "NO WE WON'T; WE'RE GOING TO GO AT NIGHT!"


*-- A Chemistry Question --*
It was time for the final and one student wanted to get at least one right answer on the chemistry test.

The question was, "If h20 if water, what is h204?"

This was a quick question for most, but it took the student some thinking time.

Finally, he wrote down his answer: For drinking, washing, and cleaning.


*-- Q and A Quickies --*
Q: Why did the cow jump over the moon?

A: Because the farmer had cold hands.


Q: Why do giraffes have long necks?

A: Because they have smelly feet.

***
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