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The epic history Spielberg & Hanks took their inspiration
from. The real life story of the Pacific. Victory at Sea.
http://pd.gophercentral.com/u/3656/c/186/a/585
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THE DAILY GROANER - Monday, March 15th 2010

Good Morning Groanies,

Vending machines are the practical jokers of the machine
world. They play horrible tricks on those of us that try
time after time to extracted those tasty morsels from its
glass stomach.

I purchased a bag of sunflower seeds and as I turned the
corresponding knob I discovered that the bag became lodged
in the chute much like Winnie the Pooh in Rabbit's rabbit
hole. I shook, hit, rocked, pounded, shimmied, banged, and
pleaded with the robot snack dispenser... but, no luck.

I really had a taste for those sunflower seeds. I was
really bummed out. Then the machine began to make a sound.
A consistent humming came from the refrigerator motor that
keeps the various available soda's cold. It sounded like a
robotic laugh. This machine was mocking me. Can you believe
it?

I couldn't take it. I said, "You've won this round you...
you... sunflower seed stealer!"

Then suddenly the humming stopped. It was really creepy.
As if the vending machine was put off by my outburst. So
I go the hell out of there because I didn't want potato
chips and chocolate bars to be used as harmful projectiles.

I think from now on if I want sunflower seeds I'll just
bring them from home.

Groaningly yours,
Steve

Email Steve: mailto:groaner@gophercentral.com

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Theater Night Light

List Price: $9.99
DEAL PRICE: $4.99
Get two for $7.98

"Theater" night light casts light in any direction. The
grill style faceplate features vents that adjust to any
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Use it to bring safety, security and convenience to any
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light lasts 100,000 hours and saves money.

Best thing... The built-in sensor turns light on at dusk
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FEATURES:
- Long Lasting LED (no replacement bulbs ever)
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This is a great choice for lighting a hall or doorway
where you don't want to illuminate the whole room.
Get one for $4.99 or save more and get two (2) for $7.98
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Three blondes have just finished a jigsaw-puzzle so they
decide to celebrate by going out. They walk into a bar
chanting, "61 days! 61 days!"

The bartender gets curious and walks over to them and
asks, "Why are you chanting 61 days?"

One of the three answer, "Because the box said 3-to-6
years!"


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Arm Rest Organizer w/ Table-Top
Organize & Store All Your Favorite TV Accessories, & More...

List Price: $24.99
DEAL PRICE: $14.99
Get Two for: $23.98

Organize your magazines, remote controls, eye glasses,
telephone and more with this handy Arm Rest Organizer.

This is a true family room organizer that stores all that
stuff that sits on your end tables in one convenient
location. Now you'll always know right where your cross-
word puzzle is. The Arm Rest Organizer also features a
tray for a beverage or a snack.

FEATURES:
- Fits over sofa arm for easy installation
- 6 large pockets
- Large Table-Top (18" x 7") surface perfect for snacks,
writing notes & more
- Adjustable design fits most arm rest on couches or chairs
- Color: Black

The Arm Rest Organizer features a durable black fabric.
One side of the organizer features two large pockets, while
the other side has one large pocket for magazines and three
smaller pockets for pens, glasses and remotes. The flat
surface in the center features a ridge around the edge to
keep items from sliding off, and makes a great snack or
writing table.
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Q: What has eight legs and goes up and down?

A: A spider in an elevator!


Q: Why did the Sheriff use a ruler when he questioned the
witness?

A: He wanted to get the story straight.

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YOUR VIDEO SNACK BAR
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4. Amos N´ Andy - In the IRS Office
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5. The Muppets
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6. The Stones
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