GENUINE LEATHER MEN'S TRIFOLD WALLET
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THE DAILY GROANER - Monday, December 13th 2010
Good Morning Groanies,
I was having lunch with a fellow co-worker the other day
and we got to talking about the holidays. Are you looking
forward to it? Are your parents flying in for a visit? Do
you think that the Santa at the mall smells like cheap
whiskey and Hot Pockets? Are you finished with all of your
holiday shopping? You know, stuff like that.
When I asked him what he was giving his wife this year he
said, "A Ring." I asked him why a ring and he told me
that he was going to give his wife one ring every year.
He told me, "I can get her a ring for each finger, each
ear, each eyebrows, her nose, her lip, her belly button,
each of her toes..." He went on and on like this. Then
he said, "Hell, she's got enough parts to get me through
the next 20 years."
When I asked him what kind of gifts he got her for her
birthday and wedding anniversary he said, "Well, I usually
just give her sex on those special occasions."
So I had to ask, "So, why a ring for Christmas?"
To which he responded, "Well, she said that I should give
her something that she would actually want once a year."
So I guess the moral is you better be good in the sack
or be the best of friends with a jeweler.
Groaningly yours,
Steve
Email Steve: mailto:groaner@gophercentral.com
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A drunk gets up from the bar and heads for the bathroom.
A few minutes later, a loud, blood-curdling scream is
heard minutes after that, another loud scream reverberates
through the bar.
The bartender goes into the bathroom to investigate why
the drunk is screaming. "What's all the screaming in
there? You're scaring the customers!"
"I'm just sitting here on the toilet and every time I try
to flush, something comes up and squeezes my testicles.
With that, the bartender opens the door, looks in and
says, "You Idiot! You're sitting on the mop bucket!"
(Joke courtesy of BBIX34)
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A lady goes into a bar and sees a cowboy with his feet
propped up on the table. He has the biggest feet she has
ever seen.
The woman asks the cowboy if it's true what is said about
men with big feet.
The cowboy says, "It sure is, why not come with me over to
my place and let me prove it to you?"
She figures why not, and so she spends the night with him.
The next morning she hands him a $100.00 bill.
Blushing, he stammers, "I'm very flattered, ain't nobody
ever paid me for my services before."
To this the woman replied, "Well, don't be. Take this
money and buy yourself some boots that fit!"
(Joke courtesy of BBIX34)
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Person 1 - What do you mean by telling everyone that I'm
an idiot?
Person 2 - I'm sorry, I didn't know it was supposed to be
a secret!
Q: What is the best hand to write with?
A: Neither - it's best to write with a pen!
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