THE DAILY GROANER - Monday, July 29th 2013

Good Morning Groanies,

It was a long weekend, folks. So let's take things easy today with a quick list of the dumbest questions I overheard over the weekend. Over, over! (Roger, Roger! What's our vector, Victor?)

1. Is that beer you can drink?

2. Why does the Sun have to be so hot?

3. How is your brother related to you?

4. Can I borrow your car, you know, to drive?

5. Are you eating because you're hungry?

6. Did you hear that sound make a noise?

7. Who drove us here?

8. Are you wearing that shirt all day?

9. Do you have any gum to chew?

10. Is her husband married?

And, NO, I did NOT ask any of these questions.

Groaningly yours,
Steve

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Jokes? Comments? Questions? Email Steve


*-- My Wife and My Best Friend --*
A man walks into a bar and orders a triple scotch. As the bartender pours the drink, he remarks, "That's quite a heavy drink. What's wrong?"

After quickly downing his drink, the man replies, "I found my wife in bed with my best friend."

"Wow," says the barkeep. "What'd you do?"

"I walked over to my wife," the man replies, "looked her straight in the eye, and told her to pack her stuff and get the hell out."

"That makes sense," says the bartender. "And what about your best friend?"

"I walked over, looked him right in the eye, and yelled, Bad dog!?"


*-- Peeking in the Pocket --*
A businessman enters a tavern, sits down at the bar, and orders a double martini on the rocks. After he finishes the drink, he peeks inside his shirt pocket, then he orders the bartender to prepare another double martini.

After he finishes that one, he again peeks inside his shirt pocket and orders the bartender to bring another double martini.

The bartender says, "Look, buddy, I'll bring ya' martinis all night long. But you gotta tell me why you look inside your shirt pocket before you order a refill."

The customer replies, "I'm peeking at a photo of my wife. When she starts to look good, then I know it's time to go home."


*-- Q and A Quickies --*
Q: How do you get a man to stop biting his nails?

A: Make him wear shoes.


Q: Why did the cow jump over the moon?

A: Because the farmer had cold hands.

***
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