THE DAILY GROANER - Monday, August 29th 2011

Good Morning Groanies,

Recently my wife was going through my clothes that hung in our shared closet. She asked me if I was ever going to wear any of these fashionable garments again.

"Of course I will," I said with revelry.

She just shook her head in disbelief. So over the last week I've been wearing various button-downs, lost or forgotten t-shirts and a colorful array of treasured Hawaiian shirts. I tell you I was a symphony of style and coordination all week long.

To be perfectly honest I think that Stacy was really looking to get rid of my clothes in order to take over more of that bedroom closet. That's right, I'm on to you, sweetie!

To pull one over on me you have to get up pretty early in the morning. Around 5:29 to be exact.

Groaningly yours,
Steve

P.S. One of my favorite things is when I leave the house in the morning to go to work and I notice the dew on the grass in my yard. It feels like I just walked in on my yard right after it got out of the shower.

Jokes? Comments? Questions? Email Steve

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*-- The Worst Joke Ever --*
Harrison Ford was a carpenter before being discovered by George Lucas.

Not many people know he was also an inventor and an inveterate gambler. He once developed a hand-held gadget that could predict where the roulette ball would stop based on how hard the croupier turned the wheel, thus preventing losing bets.

It was the reader of the loss torque.

*-- Stage Drama --*
During a performance for the high school drama class at the local theatre, a hole was cracked in the stage floor. Subsequent acts managed to avoid the damaged area until little Freddy, juggling bowling pins, accidentally stepped through the hole up to his knee. He apologized to the audience for his clumsiness. But a heckler in the back of the theatre shouted: "Don't worry, Freddy! It's just a stage you're going through!"

*-- Q and A Quickies --*
Q: What do you call a piece of wood with nothing to do?

A: Bored.

Q: How can you tell if a tree is a dogwood tree?

A: By its bark.

Q: What kind of car does a Proctologist drive?

A: A brown Probe!

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