THE DAILY GROANER - Monday, October 15th 2012

Good Morning Groanies,

I had fondue for the first time the other night. I didn't know exactly what to expect. From watching reruns of "That '70s Show", all I did know is that there would be cheese, skewers, and some sort of pot - so, I decided to give it a chance.

After dipping bread, apples, chips, and vegetables into bubbly hot cheese, it was time for the meat. Now this is what I was most looking forward to - beef, pork, chicken, shrimp - all the animal groups were to be represented. Then the plate arrived, I didn't know that meat could be so tiny. Next, was the waiting - one at a time these pieces had to go into the pot. It took forever, we were there for over three and a half hours (and that's no joke!). I thought the point of a restaurant was for other people to cook your food, I'm just there to chew it.

I guess that when it comes to fondue - I'm not a fan-due and lucky for me, Wendy's drive-thru was open late. Egh, that fan-due joke was awful - definitely a fond-don't. What is wrong with me? What was in that cheese?

Groaningly yours,
Steve

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Jokes? Comments? Questions? Email Steve


* WHERE DO RED-HEADED BABIES COME FROM? *
After their baby was born, the panicked father went to see the Obstetrician. 'Doctor,' the man said, 'I don't mind telling you, but I'm a little upset because my daughter has red hair. She can't possibly be mine!'

'Nonsense,' the doctor said...'Even though you and your wife both have black hair, one of your ancestors may have contributed red hair to the gene pool.'

'It isn't possible,' the man insisted. 'This can't be, our families on both sides had jet-black hair for generations.'

"Well," said the doctor, "let me ask you this. How often do you have sex?"

The man seemed a bit ashamed. 'I've been working very hard for the past year. We only made love once or twice every few months.'

'Well, there you have it!' The doctor said confidently... "It's Rust!!"


*-- Worried About the Old Widow --*
Worried because they hadn't heard anything for days from the widow in the neighboring apartment, Mrs. Silver said to her son, "Timmy, would you go next door and see how old Mrs. Kirkland is?"

A few minutes later, Timmy returned.

"Well," asked Mrs. Silver, "is she all right?"

"She's fine, except that she's angry at you."

"At me?" the woman exclaimed. "Whatever for?"

"She said 'It's none of your business how old she is,'" snickered Timmy.


*-- Q and A Quickies --*
Q: Where does a judge eat lunch?

A: At the food court.


Q: Why do bees have sticky hair?

A: They use honeycombs.

***
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