Keep Your Furry Friends Safe at Night with Pet Blinkers!
http://pd.gophercentral.com/u/3551/c/186/a/585
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THE DAILY GROANER - Monday, July 26th 2010
Good Morning Groanies,
When I was in the bathroom the other day I began to think.
I do my best thinking in the bathroom, like I'm sure most
of us do. My powder-room ponderings brought me to the
conclusion that being bald does have its benefits. Just
hear me out.
- You'll save so much money on shampoo and condition,
unless your body is very hairy and you want to add a
little bounce and body to it.
- You'll free up a little space in your memory bank from
not having to remember which side of your head to part
your hair.
- You'll save a ton of time not having to brush, comb,
dry, style, tease, cut, clip, crimp, tussle, dye, shave,
trim, wax, highlight, curl, mousse, straighten, spray,
gel, scrunch, pick, buzz, braid, streak, or wash that
fuzz on your head.
- The mullet will no longer be an issue for future family
photos.
- Halloween costumes will be so easy. You could dress up
as Lex Luthor, John Locke, John McClane (Live Free or Die
Hard), Humpty Dumpty, Curly, Daddy Warbucks, Professor
Charles Xavier (X-Men) and Kojak.
I rest my case. Be bald, be proud, and enjoy all of the
time, money, and memory space that you'll save, Chromedome.
No offense!
Groaningly yours,
Steve
Email Steve: mailto:groaner@gophercentral.com
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As a blonde crawls out of her wrecked car, the local
sheriff asks her what happened.
The blonde began, "It was the strangest thing! I looked up
and saw a tree, so I swerved to the right. Then I saw
another tree, so I swerved to left. Then there was another
tree, and another and another..."
The sheriff thought for a minute and then said, "Ma'am...
I don't know how to tell you this, but the only thing
even resembling a tree on this road for thirty miles is
your air freshener."
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Q: How do you make a butterfly?
A: Flick it out of the butter dish with a knife!
Q: What mouse was a Roman emperor?
A: Julius Cheeser!
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