THE DAILY GROANER - August 18, 2014

Good Morning Groanies,

There are a lot of things that I can't do. Things like...

1. Play Guitar
2. Do 5 Push-ups
3. Calcuate Math in my Head
4. Speak a Foreign Language
5. Juggle
6. Dance
7. Not Laugh When I Hear the Word "Duty"
8. Pull Off A Speedo
9. Water Ski Barefoot
10. Wrestle An Alligator

There is one thing that I am awesome at... and that's making a shoe smell. I am the king of stinky footware.

Groaningly yours,
Steve

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Jokes? Comments? Questions? Email Steve


*-- First Hospital Visit --*
A backwoodsman was making his first visit to a city hospital where his teenage son was about to have an operation. Watching the doctor's every move, he asked, "What's that?"

The doctor explained, "This is an anesthetic. After he gets this he won't know a thing."

"Save your time, Doc," exclaimed the man. "He don't know nothing now."


*-- Let Him Be Done --*
There was this lady who was visiting a church one Sunday. The sermon seemed to go on forever, and many in the congregation fell asleep.

After the service, to be social, she walked up to a very sleepy looking gentleman, extended her hand in greeting, and said, "Hello, I'm Gladys Dunn."

And the gentleman replied, "You're not the only one ma'am, I'm glad it's done too!"


*-- Q and A Quickies --*
Q: Where do cows go on their first date?

A: To the moo-vies.


Q: Why did the talking bird join the air force?

A: He wanted to be a parrot-trooper.

***
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