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THE DAILY GROANER - Monday, April 25th 2011
Good Morning Groanies,
Since I was little I've been known to talk in my sleep
and the other night I was gabbing again... so I was
told.
Stacy said she woke up and heard me making noises. She
thought that I was talking to her. She asked me if I
was okay, but I didn't answer. She asked again, this
time a bit louder, "Are you okay?"
Then, out of the blue, I said, "Now I seem to be on
track."
I don't know what I was dreaming about or thinking about,
or even if I was dreaming or thinking, that would have
caused me to say that, but at least I didn't say some-
thing like, "I like the way angora feels against my
skin...", or "a baby offered me a cigarette...", or "the
cheese popcorn owes me 12 bucks", and so on.
It's not like I've ever said those things in my sleep or
any other time.
Please, don't judge me.
Groaningly yours,
Steve
Email Steve: mailto:groaner@gophercentral.com
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Two missionaries were apprehended by a tribe of very
hostile cannibals who put them in a large pot of water,
built a huge fire under it, and left them there.
A few minutes later, one of the missionaries started to
laugh uncontrollably.
The other missionary couldn't believe it! He said, "What's
wrong with you? We're being boiled alive! They're gonna
eat us! What could possibly be funny at a time like this?"
The other missionary replied, "I just peed in the soup!"
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I met an older woman at a club last night.
This isn't usually my thing, but she was attractive enough
for a 50-year-old. We had a few drinks, danced a little
bit, and the next thing you know my hand was caressing
her thigh and she was whispering dirty nothings in my ear.
She asked me if I'd ever had a sportsman's double, a
mother and daughter 3-some?
I said no. We drank a bit more, then she says tonight
was my lucky night.
We went back to her place. She put the hall light on and
shouted upstairs: "Mom, you still awake?"
(From: BBIX34)
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Q: What do you call a blind dinosaur?
A: Do-you-think-he-saur-us.
Q: What does a bum call a dumpster?
A: Bed and Breakfast.
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