THE DAILY GROANER - Monday, Dec. 5th 2011
Good Morning Groanies,My birthday was anything but boring this year. As I had mentioned in a previous column - which you can read just by clicking this link: http://bit.ly/tK3x4O - Stacy and I had a regularly scheduled appointment with our baby doctor that day. It was for blood work, asking the doctor a few questions, and the best part - Listening To Our Baby's Heartbeat!
Well, the ham radio or Geiger counter or whatever it's called couldn't find the wee-one's heartbeat. I don't have to tell you that Stacy and I were extremely worried about this, but the doc said that we shouldn't worry, which is easy for her to say, but they made arrangements for us to get an ultrasound done at a "local" hospital.
So after the tense 40 minute drive we arrived and were greeted by a remarkable team of doctors and nurses that were ready to find our sneaky little snot and put our minds at ease. Within seconds we saw our little bundle of joy mooning us (which is a classic trait from my DNA pool) and the pitter-patter of their tiny ticker.
We both exhaled with such implicit relief. Stacy was in tears, I was choked-up, we hugged, we kissed, we said how much we loved each other. Then we thanked both the doctor and nurse that helped us. We were just so grateful that everything was okay.
Then, of course without missing a beat, I looked and pointed at my beautiful wife's pregnant belly and made the exhausted declaration, "You Are So Grounded!"
Kids. What are you gonna do, right?
Groaningly yours,
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Get More Jokes From the Daily Groaner*-- What's Wrong With Me? --*A guy goes into the doctor's office. There is a banana stuck in one of his ears, a carrot stuck in one nostril and a cucumber in the other ear.
The man says, "Doc, this is terrible. What's wrong with me?"
The doctor says, "Well, first of all, you're not eating right."
*-- A Joke That Shows Your Age --*A woman meant to call a record store but dialed the wrong number and got a private home instead.
"Do you have 'Eyes of Blue' and 'A Love Supreme'?" she asked.
"Well, no," answered the puzzled homeowner. "But I have a wife and eleven children."
"Is that a record?" she inquired.
"I don't think so," replied the man, "but it's as close as I want to get."
*-- Q and A Quickies --*Q: What did the picture say to the wall?
A: "I've been framed."
Q: What happened to the sun burnt banana?
A: It started to peel.
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