THE DAILY GROANER - Wednesday, May 15th 2013

Good Morning Groanies,

So the party came and went and then it was time to clean up. If we were smart we would have just left and bought a new house. What is it about house parties that always end in someone having to shovel garbage, food, and empty beer bottles out of every room? Kids, am I right?

It looked like we had had a food fight both inside and outside of our humble abode. It took some doing to get things back to civilized, but it wasn't easy. It took us all night Saturday and most of Sunday morning to remove the mess. Now things are back to normal and now we just have to figure out where to store all of Jack's new toys, clothes, and colorful array of hats. He got a ton of hats. Are hats in right now? Or on? Or whatever the kids are saying?

Then Jack and I showered Stacy with Mother's Day gifts. We actually made her a special gift. I traced Jack's hands on construction paper, cut them out and then glued them to the opposite ends of another piece of construction paper about the size and length of a ruler. On the thin ruler sized piece there was a message that read, "Mom, I Love You This Much!" Stacy loved it! She hung it up on the fridge and said it was the best gift she had ever received. Then I said, "Hey, what about the Shower Sandal Foot Scrubber I got you for your birthday last year?" She said it wasn't even close. Well, I guess I better try harder this year. That Jack is a crafty little dude.

Groaningly yours,
Steve

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Jokes? Questions? Comments? Email Steve


*-- The History Paper --*
Man: "How's your history paper coming?"

Woman: "Well, my history professor suggested that I use the Internet for research, and it's been very helpful.

Man: "Really?"

Woman: "Yes! I've already located 17 people who sell them!"


*-- I Would Do Anything --*
A student comes to a young professor's office hours. She glances down the hall, closes his door, kneels pleadingly.

"I would do anything to pass this exam." She leans closer to him, flips back her hair, gazes meaningfully into his eyes. "I mean..." she whispers, "...I would do...anything."

He returns her gaze. "Anything?"

"Anything."

His voice softens. "Anything??"

"Absolutely anything."

His voice turns to a whisper. "Would you...study?"


*-- Q and A Quickies --*
Q: What do you give a pony with a cold?

A: Cough Stirrup!


Q: What is a horse's favorite sport?

A: Stable tennis!

***
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