THE DAILY GROANER - December 7, 2016

Good Morning Groanies,

I was waiting at the deli counter when I noticed this little old man waiting in line as well. I felt like striking up a conversation with the guy, but before I could think of something to say he said, "Tell me if you've heard this one...

A man observed a woman in the grocery store with a three year old girl in her basket. As they passed the cookie section, the little girl asked for cookies and her mother told her, "No." The little girl immediately began to whine and fuss, and the mother said quietly, "Now Monica, we just have half of the aisles left to go through - don't be upset. It won't be long now."

Soon, they came to the candy aisle and the little girl began to shout for candy. When told she couldn't have any, she began to cry. The mother said, "There, there, Monica, don't cry - only two more aisles to go and then we'll be checking out."

When they got to the checkout stand, the little girl immediately began to clamor for gum and burst into a terrible tantrum upon discovering there'd be no gum purchased. The mother said serenely, "Monica, we'll be through this check out stand in 5 minutes and then you can go home and have a nice nap."

The man followed them out to the parking lot and stopped the woman to compliment her. "I couldn't help noticing how patient you were with little Monica," he began.

The mother replied, "I'm Monica - my little girl's name is Tammy."

The old guy just laughed and laughed and he got me laughing too. When I stopped laughing I noticed he was gone. I asked the next person in the line what happened to the old man and they told me that he took my place in line, got his sliced deli meat and took off all while distracting me with that amusing joke.

Those old guys are crafty.

Groaningly yours,
Steve

P.S. Did you miss an issue? You can read every issue from the Gophercentral library of newsletters on our exhaustive archives page. Thousands of issues, all of your favorite publications in chronological order. You can read AND comment. Just click GopherArchives

Jokes? Comments? Questions? Email Steve


*-- How Many Licks Does It Take... --*
Someone saw a blonde eating a Tootsie Roll Pop and asked her, "So, how many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop?"

Without a thought, the blonde replied, "Beats me, but it took almost the whole day just to lick through the wrapper."



*-- The Best Part of Old Age --*
A reporter was interviewing a 104 year-old woman: "And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?"

She simply replied, "No peer pressure."


*-- Q and A Quickies --*
Q: Who do you call when your calculator dies?

A: The mathemortician.


Q: what do rich cats have in their refrigerators?

A: Automatic mice makers.



*-- Reader Comments --*
Steve:
Birthdays are good for you. The more you have the longer you live. Birthdays! Why do we congratulate people on their birthday? They, we had nothing to do with it. Two other people made that decision in whatever protocol available and, well you know the rest.
--Larry
[By "protocol" do you mean "alcohol"?]

***
Missed an Issue? Visit the Daily Groaner Archives