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THE DAILY GROANER - May 7, 2014
Good Morning Groanies,Here we are again. Ready for a new list of messages from fortune cookies that are even better when you add "...in bed" at the end?
Do you remember that we had played this game before? Well, we did?
Here's how it goes, in case it slipped your mind. Just add "...in bed" to the end of these mass-produced fraudulent recommendations and they really take on a whole new, hilarious meaning. Enjoy.
1. Your random act of kindness today will spread quickly to others...
2. People will find it difficult to resist your propositions...
3. Your perseverance will pay off soon...
4. Something special will happen at home soon...
5. You may accomplish more by being direct...
6. You will run into an old friend soon...
7. You are careful and systematic...
8. A secret adventure is in store for you...
9. The husband is the boss - if the wife allows...
10. Your talents will be recognized and rewarded...
It's always fun to take a good thing and make it better. Like putting butter on popcorn or sunglasses on a monkey.
Groaningly yours,
SteveP.S. Did you miss an issue? You can read every issue from the Gophercentral library of newsletters on our exhaustive archives page. Thousands of issues, all of your favorite publications in chronological order. You can read AND comment. Just click
GopherArchivesJokes? Comments? Questions?
Email Steve*-- Bear Left --*Two hunters were driving through the country to go bear hunting. They came upon a fork in the road where a sign read, "BEAR LEFT". So they went home.
*-- Think About It --*I am reading a most interesting book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.
*-- Q and A Quickies --*Q: What did the bee say when he returned to the hive?
A: Honey, I'm home!
Q: What is the best way to carve wood?
A: Whittle by whittle!
***Missed an Issue? Visit the Daily Groaner Archives