THE DAILY GROANER - April 22, 2015

Good Morning Groanies,

Here's an oldie, but a goodie!

I was stressed out last week. I was so stressed in fact that I was having all kinds of stress dreams, but one in particular really stuck with me.

I dreamed that pants pockets had been outlawed so everybody had to store their valuables in their belly buttons. So day after day I had my wallet, keys and cell phone in my belly button. It actually worked much better than pockets ever did. It was quite comfortable. I thought that this is what it must be like to be a kangaroo. It was cool. So from then on it was belly button storage for all!

The only real drawback from this new process was that my cell phone smelled horrible whenever I used it. So I missed a lot of calls. Then I woke up. What a nightmare!

Well, the next time I can't find my keys, phone, or wallet I know where to look.

Groaningly yours,
Steve

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Jokes? Comments? Questions? Email Steve


*-- I Have This Problem --*
Three old men are talking about their aches, pains and bodily functions.

One seventy year old man says, "I have this problem. I wake up every morning at seven and it takes me twenty minutes to pee."

An eighty year old man says, "My case is worse. I get up at eight and I sit there and grunt and groan for half an hour before I finally have a bowel movement."

The ninety year old man says, "At seven I pee like a horse, at eight I crap like a cow." "So what's your problem?" asked the others.

"I don't wake up until nine."


*-- My Teacher Is Crazy --*
Son: "My math teacher is crazy".

Mother: "Why?"

Son: "Yesterday she told us that five is 4+1; today she is telling us that five is 3 + 2."


*-- Q and A Quickies --*
Q: What did the alien say to the garden?

A: Take me to your weeder.


Q: What kind of key opens a banana?

A: A monkey!

***
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