It's the sewing kit that is ideal for helping around the house.
http://pd.gophercentral.com/u/1082/c/186/a/585
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THE DAILY GROANER - Monday, February 21st 2011
Good Morning Groanies,
Human stupidity knows no bounds. I'm sure that everyone
has a story or two that showcases the exhausting ineptitude
of some acquaintance or random stranger that makes Ralph
Wiggum look like one of Mensa's elite.
When I was in college I used to frequent this bar that had
a trivia contest every Tuesday night. I'd meet up with my
friends and we would combine our vast collection of use-
less knowledge in the hopes that for once we'd be rewarded
with buffalo wings for knowing the name of the ship that
made the Kessel Run in less than twelve parsecs. It's the
Millennium Falcon, just in case you were wondering.
The trivia contest consisted of a wide range of categories
which included: history, pop culture, music, sports,
politics, animals, movies, television, et cetera. I was
the go-to guy for movies, TV, and pop culture, but I
always seemed to have difficulty with the other topics,
especially politics. I was always hard on myself that
I wasn't very savy in the realm of world history and
politics. But then this question was asked during the
contest: "Who is the current leader of North Korea?" Oh,
I know this one! So I quickly wrote down the answer, the
correct answer.
At the end of the contest the hostess of this weekly event
read through all of the correct answers and when she got
to the aforementioned question I was a proud peacock await-
ing her to announce the answer: Kim Jong-il. Well, that's
not quite what she said.
This woman stood up, with microphone in-hand, and said
that the current leader of North Korea was in fact, and
I quote, "Kim Jong II or Kim Jong the Second." I couldn't
make something like that up if I tried. After she said
that I wasn't so ashamed of my lack of historical and
political knowledge. And I laughed so hard I think I
peed a little.
To paraphrase a quote I've often heard, "In life there is
always going to be someone better than you." Now if that's
true... then I'm sure that there has to be a wagon train
of drooling automatons just trying to tread water in my
wake. So I got that going for me.
Groaningly yours,
Steve
p.s. "We have enough youth. How about a fountain of
'smart'?"
Email Steve: mailto:groaner@gophercentral.com
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Cathy wanted to show off her dogs, so she took them to
obedience classes. Soon, she had them under control. She
signed up for a show. However, she babysat her nephew one
day, and he teased the dogs mercilessly. They soon forgot
all of their training.
Cathy knew she couldn't enter them in the show. So she
borrowed her sister's well-behaved dogs. However, the
judge, a teacher, wasn't fooled. He admonished her,
saying, "You should have realized that you can't trick
an old teach with new dogs."
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Q: Why does the nurse carry around a red pen?
A: To draw blood.
Q: What's invisible and smells like carrots?
A: Rabbit farts!
Q: What do you get when you cross a pig with a centipede?
A: Bacon and legs.
Q: How do you know you're at a bulimic bachelor party?
A: When the cake jumps out of the girl!
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