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THE DAILY GROANER - February 25, 2015
Good Morning Groanies,
Stress can do so many things to your body and mind. It can make you tired, irritable, hungry, thirsty, nervous, hyper, achy, fatigued, restless, fidgety, scream obscenities, cry, laugh hysterically for no apparent reason, bark like a dog at delivery people, shave your head, fill your bathtub up with peeled bananas and skim milk, engage in a staring contest with a random squirrel, make a suit out of your living room carpeting, watch a silent movie with the television muted, build a replica of the Washington Monument out of burnt toast, hide pudding in your medicine cabinet, clean your gutters while naked, order a pizza and then just eat the box it came in, and so on and so forth.
Stress can make you do all sorts of things. Am I right?
Groaningly yours,
Steve
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Jokes? Comments? Questions?
Email Steve
*-- Q and A Quickies --*
Q: Why did the spider go to the computer?
A: To check his web site.
Q: What do you call a knight who is afraid to fight?
A: Sir Render.
*-- Take A Good Look At That Fellow --*
A college senior took his new girlfriend to a football game. The young couple found seats in the crowded stadium and were watching the action. A substitute was put into the game, and as he was running onto the field to take his position, the boy said to his girlfriend, "Take a good look at that fellow. I expect him to be our best man next year."
His girlfriend snuggled closer and said to the surprised young man, "That's the strangest way I ever heard of for a fellow to propose to a girl. Regardless of how you said it, I accept!"
*-- More Q and A Quickies --*
Q: What makes a man think about a candlelight dinner?
A: A power failure.
Q: Why did the orange use suntan lotion?
A: It didn't want to peel.
***
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