THE DAILY GROANER - June 3, 2015

Good Morning Groanies,

The pants I'm wearing today are not my pants. I don't know who's pants they are or where they came from. Oh, I feel a wallet in the back pocket. Maybe this is the very clue which will reveal the true owner of this pair of pants. Hey, that's my wallet. These are my pants.

Sorry, false alarm. That was weird.

Groaningly yours,
Steve

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Jokes? Comments? Questions? Email Steve


*-- What Have You Got That For? --*
A drunk was floundering down the alley carrying a box with holes on the side. He bumped into a friend who asked, "What do you have in there pal?"

"It's a mongoose."

"What have you got that for?"

"Well, you know how drunk I can get. When I get drunk I see snakes, and I'm scared to death of snakes. That's why I got this mongoose, for protection."

"But," the friend said, "you idiot! Those are imaginary snakes."

"That's okay," said the drunk, showing his friend the interior of the box, "So is the mongoose."


*-- The 'James Bond' Type of Player --*
Egotistical Harry was always reminding people that he played semi-pro baseball.

"I was the James Bond type of player," he told his friends. "I had all sorts of tricks to confuse the opposition."

"Batted .007," his wife added.


*-- Q and A Quickies --*
Q: Where do you find giant snails?

A: On the ends of giant's fingers.


Q: What did the cannibal get when he was late for dinner?

A: The cold shoulder.

***
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