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THE DAILY GROANER - January 28, 2015
Good Morning Groanies,Friday night was great! Stacy and I ventured out to see comedian Lewis Black at the Rialto Square Theatre. After finally discovering a place to park in an area that looked like a de-militarized zone we made our way to the beautiful Rialto Square Theatre. It was like something out of a forgotten era. Much like the Chicago Theater it had an ornate ceiling, hand-crafted sculpturing, an amazing stage and lobby - it was a thing of beauty.
When Lewis Black took the stage it was everything that I had hoped it would be. He was great! He ranted and raved about everything from vacations and the government to mental illness and the embarrassment that is the Chicago Bears.
After the show he even took pictures and signed autographs for those that desired them. Unfortunately, I didn't get either, instead I got an Official Lewis Black Bobblehead that offers a retort that only fans of the man and his anger can truly appreciate.
After a great night I thanked my wife for this wonderful birthday present, which she had given me last December, and told her it was a night that I'd never forget. Then she pressed the button on the bobblehead and it told me, "Go F*$# Yourself!" Best Night EVER!!! I love my wife so much!
Groaningly yours,
SteveP.S. Did you miss an issue? You can read every issue from the Gophercentral library of newsletters on our exhaustive archives page. Thousands of issues, all of your favorite publications in chronological order. You can read AND comment. Just click
GopherArchivesJokes? Comments? Questions?
Email Steve*-- What Do They Do That For? --*Way down upon the Mississippi, two tugboat captains who had been friends for years, would always cry "Aye!" and blow their whistles whenever they passed each other.
A new crewman asked his boat's mate, "What do they do that for?"
The mate looked surprised and replied, "You mean that you've never heard of... an aye for an aye and a toot for a toot?"
*-- Single, Huh? --*A man goes into a supermarket and buys a tube of toothpaste, a bottle of Pepsi, a bag of tortilla chips, and a frozen pizza. The cute girl at the register looks at him and says, "Single, huh?"
Sarcastically the guy sneers, "Maybe. How'd you guess?"
She replies, "Because you're ugly."
*-- Q and A Quickies --*Q: What did the dryer say to the washer?
A: Let's go for a spin!
Q: What's the first thing you know?
A: Ol' Jed's a millionaire.
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