THE DAILY GROANER - January 25, 2016
Good Morning Groanies,
I'm not feeling all that well today, but I have a classic remedy for keeping my spirits up when I'm not feeling my best. Some of you may already know this, but for those who don't or forgot it get ready.
What I do is I say the word "monkey", but I say it with a French accent. Try it. I'm sure it will brighten up your day... or my name isn't whatever my name is.
Oh, I'll put many of the reader comments and questions that you, the readers, sent to me via the email in the next issue. Thank you for reading and commenting. Except for you Grandma! Such language.
Groaningly yours,
Steve
P.S. Did you miss an issue? You can read every issue from the Gophercentral library of newsletters on our exhaustive archives page. Thousands of issues, all of your favorite publications in chronological order. You can read AND comment. Just click
GopherArchives
Jokes? Comments? Questions?
Email Steve
*-- Check Me Out --*
A woman rushed into the supermarket to pick up a few items. She headed for the express line where the clerk was talking on the phone with his back turned to her.
"Excuse me," she said, "I'm in a hurry. Could you check me out?"
The clerk turned, stared at her for a second, looked her up and down, smiled and said, "Not bad."
*-- Sweet Revenge --*
When asked for her occupation, a woman charged with a traffic violation said she was a schoolteacher. The judge rose from the bench. "Madam, I have waited years for a schoolteacher to appear before this court," he smiled with delight.
"Now sit down at that table and write 'I will not pass through a red light' five hundred times."
*-- Q and A Quickies --*
Q: How did people react when fabric softener was invented?
A: They were ex-static!
Q: What is an innuendo?
A: An Italian suppository!
***
Missed an Issue? Visit the Daily Groaner Archives