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THE DAILY GROANER - Wednesday, April 27th 2011
Good Morning Groanies,
The other night, Stacy and I went on a double date with
some friends of ours. It was fun. It was. Even though I
don't like people or going places, I did enjoy myself.
However, there was one thing that I didn't enjoy, our
waiter. He was a bag of douche. Let me explain.
The four of us couldn't wait to eat and have our waiter
take our orders, but he was in a bad mood because this
establishment was loaded with teenagers. And we all know
that teenagers are crappy tippers because they suck at
math... but that's another column for another time. So
the waiter was reasonably angry, but he took it out on
us, the math whizzes at table 9.
He walked over and started giving us crap about certain
items on the menu that we had questions about. Then he
asked us if we had ever been to this restaurant before,
Stacy and our friends told him that they had, but before
I could answer he turned to me and said, "And what's your
excuse?" What an ass-clown, right? I replied without even
thinking about how to respond to his dicky question. I
said, "Well, I think about guys every single time I drive
on by." He wasn't too happy with me after that and walked
away from our table.
Stacy said, "Hey, that was pretty good, but you know he's
probably going to spit in your food now."
To which I announced, "Good. I hope he does then maybe my
food will have some flavor!"
Groaningly yours,
Steve
Email Steve: mailto:groaner@gophercentral.com
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"Doc, I can't stop singing 'What's New Pussycat?'
"That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome."
"Is it common?"
"Well, 'It's Not Unusual.'"
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I was walking down an alley last night, when I heard,
"Help! Help!" coming from behind a dumpster. Two thugs
were trying to steal an old lady's handbag, but she was
putting up a hell of a fight and wouldn't let go.
I wondered if I should get involved, or keep walking and
pretend I didn't see anything.
I finally decided that I should help.
She was a tough old bird, but the three of us finally
got that handbag.
(From: Laffaday's TZ)
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A: Try sewing buttons on a mosquito!
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A: A dingo-ling!
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