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THE DAILY GROANER - March 21, 2016

Good Morning Groanies,

Last week, Disney announced that Steven Spielberg and Harrison Ford will reunite for a fifth 'Indiana Jones' movie due out in the summer of 2019. What?!

Look, I love movies. I love Steven Spielberg movies. I love Harrison Ford movies. I especially love Indiana Jones movies. But Indiana Jones 5?

I was worried about Mr. Ford returning as Han Solo in "Star Wars: The Force Awakens", but he made a septuagenarian smuggler look cool and seem believable to multiple movie-going generations. Can he do the same with his other iconic character? I guess we will find out in a few summers from now.

I shall remain optimistic, but since this is the Daily Groaner I've made a list of possible titles for the upcoming Indy movie located down below.

And remember, I'm looking forward to this movie, I will see it, and I have nothing but respect and admiration for Spielberg, Ford and the character of Indiana Jones.

Now, please enjoy! It's all in good fun!

Groaningly yours,

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Possible Titles for the Forth-Coming 'Indy Jones 5'

Indiana Jones and the Early Bird Special

Indiana Jones and the Another One of My Friends Died

Indiana Jones and the Getting Up To Pee 10 Times A Night

Indiana Jones and the Get Off My Lawn

Indiana Jones and the Turn Down That Damn Music

Indiana Jones and the Little Blue Pill Adventures

Indiana Jones and the Tea-Bagging Toilet Water Debacle

Indiana Jones and the Time to Cut Down on Salt

Indiana Jones and the Ungrateful Grandkids

Indiana Jones and the Where Am I?

*-- I Can't Serve You --*

A number twelve walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a pint of beer.

"Sorry I can't serve you," states the bartender.

"Why not?!" asks the number twelve with anger showing in its voice.

"You're under 18," replies the bartender.

*-- Q and A Quickies --*

Q: Who are some of the werewolves' cousins?

A: The whatwolves and the whenwolves.

Q: Why are Venetian blinds the greatest invention in the history of mankind?

A: If it wasn't for Venetian blinds, it would have been curtains for all of us.


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